A
male
age
41-50,
*-W
writes:I have been with my fiancee for about 2 years. She is 2 months pregnant with our first child. A girl from my past text me yesterday, and, my fiancee saw it and she went off! This girl from my text said "why do you hate me?" Now, I haven't talked to this girl in a while, the last time I did I went off on her and told her to leave me alone. I tried to tell this to my fiancee, but, she wouldn't believe me! She said she wants to have an abortion and that we are over and she won't talk to me right now. I don't know what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2009): hi , your fiancee obviously feels very upset by this text message you got from this woman and she might think that you have been unfaithful,you should just give her some space and let her calm down. Then tell her calmly, the truth , that you are not cheating and that you need to sort it out also you need to talk about wether she wants to have the baby or not,but i think it was just a sper-of-the-moment kind of situation and that she didnt really mean it but just incase, ask her.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2009): So you two are engaged? I think your fiancee is just really scared right now and emotional about the pregnancy as I am guessing it was unplanned. I would give her just a little bit of space and then I would try again to talk to her....she is acting irrationally over just this one text unless there has been some history of cheating and you both haven't worked through that, I can't really understand her reaction. Possibly she is not ready to be a mother or doesn't want to start her married life as a mom.....you will just have to talk to her to get at her fears, try to listen without judgment or harsh reaction, really listen as if it were something you were pleased to hear and let her know you are there for her. Tell her what you think the plan should be and go from there.
It will work out, she is just jumping off the deep end right now for some reason, possibly stress and hormones!
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