A
male
age
41-50,
*herbert
writes:HI. Ive been with my girlfriend for over 5 1/2 years. Im only the third person she has slept with. I love her with all my heart but last month she decided to tell me she wanted to spilt up. Apparently she been thinking about it for 3 months but has only just decided to tell me. After a chat it turns out she thinks she missed out by not sleeping around and gaining more experience. Shes only 23. Im gutted at this but she wants to seperate for 6months- 1year and then see how things go. I think she will find someone new and its breaking my heart. In a way im happy to move out and get my own place and be friends as i hope something will happen and we will be together again but again im worried he will find someone new. Is it really all down to sex?? Please help Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lost_soul_too  +, writes (3 May 2008):
hi
i can understand how letting go of her wil break your heart after al these years but thats the only way to go. if sex is more important to her than the five year relationship you shared, then its obviously not worth it- at least not for her. love has to be a two way street. you cant be a sucker by sticking around putiing your life on hold while she fools around. And the more important thing is- do u think you'll be able to be the same and love her whe she comes back when u knw she is capable of being with other people inspite of the bond u two share/shared? will u be able to live with the fact tht the love u gave her was not enough for her to be faithful to you?
thnk about it id say cut your losses and find someone who deserves you. all the best dude
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (3 May 2008):
 Frankly it sounds like she wants out or I am just to old for all this bullshit.
So why the trial seperation? Well that is a bit like saying, "I think I can do better then you but just in case I can't do you mind sticking around".
Tell her she has a simple choice, you two split up or you don't but if you do, it is the end.
Really, even if she wants to get back to you essentially she wants a license to cheat. She may come up with all sorts of reasons for it but that is what this is all about. She wants a license to have sex with other men while still dangling you around in case it isn't what she wanted.
Imagine you told your employer that. "Hi Boss, I am quitting and see if I can get a better Boss but if I don't I expect my old job back anytime I want it". See how insane the idea is?
Agree to it on her terms if you want forever to be her safe guy, the one she thinks she can go back to no matter how much she screws up her life. I don't recommend it, I really don't.
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A
female
reader, rachybaby +, writes (3 May 2008):
first of all id like you to look at this from her point of view. atleast she has been honest with you. now if she loves you this trial seperation should show her how much you mean to her and maybe she'll come back.to be honest with you it sounds as if she feels a bit trapped. and after 5 and a half years this is common, so try not to worry to much! my advice would be to enjoy your freedom, but remain close friends with her, try not to get jelous if she does find someone else, and although it mite hurt if she does settle down with someone else then im afraid your relationship with her was probably not ment to be!i hope this helps a little. but talking about personal expierience if all this fails, go get blind drunk with your pals, i find that helps,lol! good luck, rachael x
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