She wants me to find the answer through God to see if we can make it work.

A male age 30-35, *oveatfirstsight writes:

We have known each other for 3 or so years (a little more). We have strong feelings for each other and we are having a really difficult time. We know alot of things about each other and well technically its getting to the point where i want to know how others have made it through this or if they didnt. I want to spend the rest of my live with her and i feel certain she is the one. Now, for the problem. She is married and has 3 kids. I have been there for her from her lowest point (when i met her) her husband drank and smoked weed and put everything before her. I would stay up with her and talk with her and help her through everything. By the time she was herself again she and i fell in love through the process. We learned alot from each other and know how deeply we feel for each other. I feel guilty for being the first to tell her i was in love with her but i couldnt have lived without knowing how she felt. We both believe in God and want to be under him as our foundation. We realize our situation is not under His word. Its been 7 and a half months that she and i have been in love. Before we tried to become "us" i have tried to help her with her husband. Tryign to help her fix things with him. Felt like i was ripping my own heart out..but i did it because it felt right. He didnt seem to want to fix anything and just kept doing his own thing. She eventually left once with the kids to go with her brother in another state because her husband was getting worse. constantly yelled at and physically abused. Hearts aching so bad and emotions going through me that i have no idea what to do with them. She promised me she has not slept or anythign with him this whole time. I believe her. always have. She ended up going to a marriage counsel (she wasnt wanting to, decided its what God wanted) so she did, and went back to their home a week later. She and i were still in love. He was still doing all these things and yelling at her and abusing her still time to time. She and i have been talking this whole time. She wanted to not talk for a while until she handled her situation (as in getting a divorce). We tried hard, just seems impossible when your wondering about things and worrying that shes hurting. We start to talk again. Eventually he found out about me and her. she was writing a letter to me and he found it on her computer one day. He started to treat her worse and worse. As i sit on the side and just hope shes ok and if she will talk to me soon. Seemed to be like all we talked about were problems. Laughs here and there and smiles when we are together seem scarce but still there. Seems in this time period of 7 and a half months we have been drifting back and forth from being far from each other and being close. Something happened within a few weeks to where her husband is wanting to forgive her for being in love with me and wants to try and work things out. She at this point doesnt want to. She loves me and wants to be with me but wont leave because of God's word. She could have left him when he was being abusive and drinkign and smoking but for some reason she didnt because she was scared ( i didnt want to pressure her into leaving but maybe i should have said something). At one point i even told her not to let him give up and to keep trying. Again my heart dropped out of my chest. I wanted her to be happy. We have been back and forth constantly upset and heart aching and wondering what to do. Our current situation is this. Husband is trying, she wants to ignore it all and do nothing but be with me. But she also wants to be under God and have our relation be on his foundation. We are not at this point under "His" foundation. She is constantly trying to find a way to divorce her husband but it be in the will of God and to be with me and have our foundation under "Him". She wants me to find the answer through God to see if we can make it work. Please im in need of help from others. I feel alone.

View related questions: divorce, fell in love, period

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2008):

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A male reader, Loveatfirstsight  +, writes (7 December 2008):

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2008):

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A male reader, Loveatfirstsight  +, writes (7 December 2008):

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A female reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (7 December 2008):

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