A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I really don't understand what is going on right now! I am a female, and 14. I had fallen in love with someone who is a few monts younger then me and she is also a female. I am bi and I already told her all that. I already told her I loved her too. Months later, school has started again, and now she treats me not so well. I recently discovered that since the day I met her she has been using me for things such as, texting her friends with my phone, getting closer to my bestfriend, how is a male. Shes taken advantage of me because she knows I love her and that I'd do anything for her. So anyway, she came on the bus this morning and basical fell into the seat, and her backpack hit me. She was crying and I asked her why and she said "I didn't tell my sister so Im not telling you!" Obvoiously she wanted attention, because she didn't have to flop down in the seat and start crying. She knew I would ask. I was talking to her sister and she told me and her to 'shut the **** up" I told her that just because she is in a bad mood, doesn't mean she has to treat everyone else so horribly. Basicaly, I am so sick of this. I'm sick of the drama. I know letting go of her would be best, but I can't because I'm still in love with her. What do I say to her? How can I fix things, and let her know how I feel about this whole situation?
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female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo  +, writes (9 October 2009):
 As long as you let her treat you like this she will. you need to stand up and tell her how you feel and how you expect her to change. if after this talk she dosent change the way she is acting, as hard as it can be you will have to say goodbye to this girl as a friend. maybe not forever but atleast till she knows how to act like a proper friend. good luck and keep me posted if you can x
A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (8 October 2009):
 The horrible thing about believing we are “in love” at fourteen is that we have little to no experience with that emotion, do not think we’ll feel that way about anyone else again, and it feels so intense. The wonderful thing about young love is that we can recover from it quickly.
When we allow others to treat us poorly, accept it as “well that’s just them” or forgive too easily, “well, they said they were sorry” even though we KNOW they will do it again, we teach them they lose nothing by treating us poorly.
This girl is not in love with you. She is in love with herself. At fourteen, so many people are self-absorbed. Many DO grow out of it, but that’s cold comfort to you right now.
It is important that you teach her how you wish to be treated. If she uses you, then you can stop her by not allowing her to use your phone, etc. Do not allow her to think (through your enabling behaviour) that you will do anything for her, while she continues to treat you poorly.
It will take practice. At first it may be difficult, but you can do it and every time you do, it will be easier than the last time.
It is my hope for you that you will stop feeling so much for her soon. I know in time you will, with discipline and determination you will see her for who she is; someone unworthy or your “love”. You are a generous and caring person and you deserve MUCH better, my friend... and you WILL have it.
What you feel for this girl now will not compare to what you feel for someone more deserving in the future (sooner than you think!). Love is 10 times more powerful when your affections are reciprocated.
Good luck.
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