A
female
age
26-29,
*MLBabyDoll
writes:I've had my dog, Benji she is a chow. Anyway i've had her for 9 years since before my mommy past away so benji kinda all i have left my mom. My dad remarried months after her death. Anyways a few nights ago my step-mother ask how i felt i she got rid of MY dog! oooh i was so upset, if she wasnt married to my father i would of swong at her....what should i do, i mean i dont know if its really a problem but to me it is. im still so upsetand dont know how i should feel or react to my step-mom since shes asked. It happed in frount of my dad, he didnt do or say anything!!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, VMLBabyDoll +, writes (30 August 2008):
VMLBabyDoll is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes Kristy is my step-mother. Benji is a she.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2008): I know it doesn't make sense does it?
I think it's so lovely that you have all these dogs to keep you company ... I used to have a dog called Monty but I just didn't have the time and energy required to look after him. But ohwell, I'm moving out next year so I can get a new dog then ... I like Salukis and Northern Inuits but they are expensive so maybe an older crossbreed would be easier since my money resources are limited!
Oh and I really hope Kristy (your step-mother?) doesn't take Benji away, as it's obvious he means alot to you!
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female
reader, VMLBabyDoll +, writes (30 August 2008):
VMLBabyDoll is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI understand shes an old dog, and we have 4other dogs but why the one that will protect you? Star, our collie will play with anyone she sees. Smoky, our poodle......well hes sniped and wont do anything. Bear.....she so cute you cant be afraid of her. Chewie, i have no idea what she is, barks at everything! But Benji, y'know she's the kind of dog that will bark at people she doesnt know. She's worth it, nothings wrong with her. Benji was the dog my lil' sisters would grab onto when they were learning to walk. I dont see why Kristy would say, think or ask. Thats my best friend, come on!
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2008): I know how you feel ... not about Benji, but about your dad. I have been in a similar position - my dad's girlfriend can be very abusive and controlling, yet he refuses to stand up to her. Personally I think it is pathetic, that HE is pathetic ... but well what do I know??
Do you want me to tell me what I honestly think? You said that Benji was all you had left of your mother; I get the feeling your step-mother may be concealing a deep-rooted jealousy that your dad had a previous partner who he still has an unbreakable bond with (you!), and she is bitter and maybe to her Benji is a reminder of this.
I think that whatever the reason, your step-mother is being extremely irresponsible and your dad is, quite frankly a coward for not reacting against it.
She clearly isn't considering what Benji means to you on an emotional level. She may feel you would prefer to have a new, younger dog. Make it clear this isn't what you want and if she has any decency she won't take Benji away from you ...
x
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female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (30 August 2008):
 I'm with kelvinator, your dad needs to stand up to your stepmom about this. Benji has always been yours, after all.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2008): Well I hope that he sees now how upset and angry you are right now about it. Hopefully...he will do something about it.
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female
reader, VMLBabyDoll +, writes (30 August 2008):
VMLBabyDoll is verified as being by the original poster of the questionmy dad gets stoned,okay i dont know if even cares much on how i feel. Half the time i have no idea if he listens to anything i say. I hope he did say something, i ran off to my room.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2008): I hope your dad will talk to your step-mom about this.
Your dad should have said something when she said that in front of him...how can she even think about taking away something you love and treasure for 9 years?! And how can your dad not say anything?!
your step-mom is been very unfair and seems to me doesn't seem to care it will hurt you if she takes it away. Either she doesnt like your dog, or generally doesnt like pets. She should accept benji as part of your family and not something that should be rid off. Appalling behaviour from your step-mom.
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female
reader, SirenaBlusera +, writes (30 August 2008):
I'm sorry about your mom. I know that it's so sad to lose a loved one at any age, especially such a young age. However, I don't understand why she wants to get rid of the dog. Benji has been with you through all of your loss and upheaval, and a family member. Unless there is a GOOD reason for getting rid of Benji (for example, if she is incurably sick, or hurt and in so much pain that putting her to sleep is the kindest thing to do)... and you would obviously be heartbroken... it's not right for your stepmother to ask to get rid of your pet. Benji is part of the family, just like you and part of the package when your stepmother married your dad. You have had so much upheaval and I can't imagine what it's like. It might help if your dad could read the advice of the aunts here in this column... if he could imagine how you must be feeling. If he sees things from your point of view, he'll understand.
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female
reader, VMLBabyDoll +, writes (30 August 2008):
VMLBabyDoll is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe still have her, sorry i missed a word. No she didnt have a reason, dad say he would replace Benji with a Black Chow. If Kristy (mom) ever got rid of benji.......no... no you ive her away, im going with. thats 9 years, 9 YEARS! you cant get back. Yeah she's an old dog, so what if shes loosing her eyesite? She very protective of the family i dont see why mom would ever give Benji up.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2008): Tell your Dad that you feel this Dog mens everything to you since your Mom passed away.Tell him you would be crushed if something happened to Benji.Tell him please don't take the dog away.I really love this dog and i love you Dad.Hopefully he will relize how much Benji means to you.Hope everything goes well.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2008): I agree with Tisha, this must be extremely upsetting for you...
Do you know where she took it?! Is there any way of you being able to get it back, or even ask your dad about what he thinks?!
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (30 August 2008):
 Hi, this sounds very upsetting and I think you should be very honest with your step-mother about this. If it were me, I would tell her that if she 'got rid' of my dog, I would feel that a part of me had been amputated, that it would be the most awful thing that happened since my mother died. I would say that I thought that I had suffered enough loss and that I wasn't sure I could take anymore.
Just be very open and honest about how upset this would make you. You don't need to be a drama queen, just say that your heart would break.
Did she give any reason for wanting to 'get rid' of Benji?
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female
reader, VMLBabyDoll +, writes (30 August 2008):
VMLBabyDoll is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni forgot...she asked how i felt if she got rid of her, she hasnt yet but im not sure if she will.
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