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male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: How would you go about dealing with a partner who still sees their ex out of pity?This is basically the reason my girl still has contact with her ex, even though i can't stand it and she knows that. She won't even tell him that she's moved on and found someone else out of fear of hurting him.She sees him every other week just about, and even though i've never asked her this, i'm pretty sure they text message each other regulary.The last time she saw him they both went out for dinner to the same restaurant they would frequent when they were a couple.I feel like what i have with her will never be 100% so long as her ex is in the picture.
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female
reader, elsie  +, writes (30 April 2007):
 your girl sounds very thick skinned??does she really believe anyone in their right mind would put up with this?i think you are being too kind for your own good.the worst bit is the fact that she hasnt told him about you?is she covering all avenues?hate to say it but you could be getting manipulated.be firm and tell her shes got to tell him about you.what are you?something to keep hidden?if this guy has that bad a problem,threatening to harm himself,then suggest to her she sends him in the nearest direction to get some proffesional help and fast.
A
female
reader, AngelofLove +, writes (23 April 2007):
 Your girlfriend may mean well but she is not allowing her ex to move on by feeding his "dependency", for her company.
Of course it will devast him but how can he go through the grieving process if there is a constant reminder?
The kindest thing to do, is to let him go. It a leap he needs to take alone.
Even if they wish to remain friends, they should not contact each other for a while or until he is over your girlfriend.
This is not fair on you either, to share a relationship with an ex. Platonic or not.
Be sensitive with your girlfriend as she may not see it this way. She has to also consider your feelings though.
Angel of Love
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A
male
reader, TroubledInNE  +, writes (20 April 2007):
You should inform her that she isnt helping him by lieying to him and she is hurting your relationship. And consider the possibility of talking to her EX. Best of luck to you.
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