A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:There's this really pretty girl who goes to the same Gym as me and I'm sure she keeps giving me the eye. We've never spoken but I've noticed when I've been working out and she's in the vicinity she'll stare at me before turning away every time when I look back at her.She is honestly stunning and I'd love to just go over and talk to her, but at the same time I'm not very good with girls. I've never really gotten any kind of attention from a girl before even though I'm 23 so I wouldn't know the first thing to say to her. I'm not lying when I say a girl even looking at me is a new thing for me and it's not like I can just walk up to her and say 'Hi, I couldn't help but notice you've been staring at me a lot, d'you wanna go out with me?'Because I'm so inexperienced I don't know if I'm just completely misreading her as well, but it's happened at least 5 times in the last couple of weeks. The last thing I want to do is get the wrong end of the stick and either make things awkward between us or make her feel uncomfortable. Any advice? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2022): I can only speak for myself personally, but I’ve caught myself many times “staring” at people, both men and women. I had no attraction to any of them. However, I’ve made a conscious effort in recent years to stop doing this, because it has been noticed and taken the wrong way, especially being a young woman. It catches my attention when someone does it to me as well. I may look back at them, but not because I’m interested or want them to approach me. I do it more to let them know they’re staring in case they aren’t aware.
In your case, I’d go with Kenny’s advice in making your interactions gradual. If it’s well received, you’ll have your answer if she’s interested or not.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2022): Typo corrections:
"You could resemble somebody she used to know, that she hates; and she's not sure if you're that guy!"
""Even [if] you suspect some female is "staring at you!"
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2022): We get a lot of posts from people asking if someone's stare means they are attracted; or if they make eye-contact, if that's any indication that they want to meet them.
First-off, stares have many meanings, or nothing at all. A look doesn't always amount to having an attraction to whomever falls into your line of vision. She may find your physique interesting; or you may look totally odd to her. Otherwise, she could have a boyfriend (or a husband); and absolutely no interest whatsoever!
People often stare-back in retaliation, to force another person to avert their eyes. Some people notice when you are always looking at them; and they let you know they are aware, just in case you're a stalker or a creep. She may also notice that your form or technique is wrong; or she may notice how you showoff during your workouts. Maybe she's inspired by your dedication; but has no ulterior-motive behind it, other than to be more dedicated to her own workouts. You could resemble somebody she used to know, that she hates; and she's not sure you if you're that guy!
In most gyms, women want to be left alone. They want to workout without feeling spied upon or objectified by male-oglers. Some gyms even mention this in their policy brochures, on signs up on the wall in the workout area, and in their contract-agreements. They have a no-tolerance policy for sexual-harassment. Even is you suspect some female is "staring at you!"
My advice? Unless she strikes-up a conversation, let her stare. Her good-looks are not an open-invitation to your advances. If she keeps her distance, it's a good practice in logic to keep yours.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (7 March 2022):
 I agree, there is no way of knowing if she likes you, as she doesn't know you from Adam.
It could be that you look familiar? Or she think you are cute?
But, what you DO know... She likes to look at you.
Next time, just smile or say hi.
If she doesn't smile back or say hi, then ignore and keep on working out.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (7 March 2022):
 Its difficult to say if she likes you or not, she may well do. Or she may just be a people watcher and does not realise she is doing it.
Does she smile at you when she looks at you?. Next time you see her looking, smile at her and see if its reciprocated.
Make it a very slow gradual thing, starting of with a smile here and there, then maybe move on to a hello in passing, then on from there. You can get a pretty good idea if someone is into you or not.
Just take your time and have fun with it all and see what transpires.
Just be careful if things do start progressing you both belong to the same gym and things could become awkward if things never worked out.
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