A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i've been with my girlfriend for 4 months now, and everything's been going great. but lately shes been feeling depressed and we talked about it, and she explained to me that she feels that things between us are getting too "routine" and she told me that she feels that the sex is feeling routine, and said that she feels like shes being used, even though she knows shes not. i love my girlfriend with all my heart, and i don't want to lose her. what can i do to make our relationship work for the better?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2007): i dont mean to be pessimistic, but wot concerns me here is that 4 mths is a very short time for her to feel that the relationship is becoming 'routine'. Sounds like she cud have used the word 'boring'. im not convinced u float her boat as much as she does urs.U cant make sum1 love u & i dont thk she does.Hard to see the wood for the trees when u in love.
A
female
reader, love-him  +, writes (9 May 2007):
 wat i would suggest is you talk to her about it, tell her you love her more than anything in the world, and would do anything for her. suggest you take some time away from sex, to try and prove a point that you arnt using her. make sure she knows how much you love her, maybe every so often send her a txt or phone her, just to say 'i love you' that will make her feel special and she should soon come round and understand you arnt using her. if it still becomes a promlem with routine sex, maybe do other things, which would lead up to sex, whic could satisfy like that. hope i helped x x x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2007): Well my dear every relationship starts out fun and exciting and then the newness of it all wears off and what remains is the connection between you two. Remind her that you are with her for other reason then sex. Communicate. If you are open with one another you should be able to ask her what she wants sexually and emotionally. Believe me those two things work hand in hand. If there is no emotion then the sex will be bad and and if there is bad sex the emotions seem to disappear. Relationships take work. You both need to put the effort into it.
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A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers +, writes (9 May 2007):
 First of all its good that you have both been able to talk about this in the open and not ignore it until its too late.
Use your imagination and take her out somewhere special out of the blue. Do something different regularly to change things around. Something you like, something she likes and something totally new that you can both talk about for days afterwards.
As for the sex, find out where you can take it and experiment. You both should be enjoying one another in and outside of the bedroom, so make the most of your time. I`m sure you both have an imagination, so use it and dont be afraid of change and something different.
Its easy to fall into routines and harder to get out of them, so make that extra bit of effort which she will respect and love you more for in the end.
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