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male
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*O WHAT HAPPENED
writes: I have been dating this girl for a couple of months and things have progressed very slowly (which is fine)She is pretty shy so I never pushed her outside of her "comfort zone" until tonight. Some years ago I went through a divorce which left me financially devastated. Slowly I rebuilt my finances and healed emotionally to the point where I began my own business last Spring. She had lived at home most of her adult life until just one year ago and has never been married. Today she told me that because I do not own a home (or condo) and she does, she is just to fearful to continue this relationship any further!I was without words and told her that she needs to get over that fear . . . and she now wants me to be just friends with her. Been there - done that!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, SO WHAT HAPPENED +, writes (5 December 2006):
SO WHAT HAPPENED is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks to everyone who has offered advice. All of the advice is good to read and I am surprised just how many people have such accurate insight to someone else's problem without knowing them. Maybe that's the answer. When we are too emotionally attached to a problem it's dificult to see the obvious answers. Thanks to everyone who offered their opinions and advice and I'll try to do the same for you!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2006): I think you are best away from this one. How shallow. If you love someone you will live in a tent!! No seriously, there are a lot of lovely people out there who would be only too glad to share what you have. Go through life with you and take the ups and down. Not moan about the fact that you don't own your own house. I met my latest partner and i lived in rented and his owned, so what, he didn't dump me because of it. You deserve better.
Take care
xx
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A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (5 December 2006):
 hi there
im sorry about what is happening in your relationship, my guess is u dont deserve someone like her, i think the house or condo thing is just her way of breaking up with u. u have come a long way to allow this as a set back, try to forget her and move on if this cant be resolved u need someone who loves u and appreciate the person u are not someone who need to see ur material possesions first to commit to u, that is not love. good luck
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A
female
reader, vina_101  +, writes (5 December 2006):
 If this woman really liked you it wouldn't matter if you had a house of your own or not. She should've been more understanding of your situation. If you have explained to her exactly why you do not have a house right now, then I think a reasonable person would understand. I think this woman is a tad bit selfish, materialistic and very unreasonable.
What is she so afraid of? That you'll be dependent on her to provide everything for you? That's probably it. Reassure her that that is not going to happen. Try one more time to explain to her about your situation. If she doesn't want to hear it then just move on from her and find someone who likes you for you, house or no house. After all it's only been a couple months.
Q.What are you really losing if this woman doesn't want to be with you?
A. A selfish, unreasonable person.
I hope it all goes well. x
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