A
male
age
36-40,
*igdave
writes:Dear CupidI broke up with my girlfreind about 6 weeks ago, because we had moved in a flat, and were both really home sick and not happy living together. We were both really distraught about it and a couple of days later, after we had both moved back to our parents houses we tried again but really slow, like when we first started going out... it was a disaster obviously all the history made it impossible to start again and we broke up again within a week.I had real trouble letting go, i text her a few times saying i still loved her and that if she changed her mind to let me know. A couple of weeks later I met up with her we got on great and she ended up staying round my house. When she left the next morning she text me, 'I love you'. She then went cold and said she just wanted to be friends. I said no as I couldn't toture myself watching her move on with her life. A week went past and she started texting me again, i've been quite aloof, but she just will not stop. Late at night, weekends, in the day, saying she misses talking to me, having sex, misses my family etc etc. But she has told all her friends that she doesn't want to be with me.Does she really want to be with me, or is she playing games for attention??
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male
reader, Bigdave +, writes (21 October 2008):
Bigdave is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice and I definately agree that she doesn't know what she wants... but she is obbsessed, especially with the idea of being freinds and wont leave me alone.
I tried to break it to her nicely that I think its best that we have some time to ourselves with no contact, but she got really angry with me, and has still continued to text me.
Any thoughts on how to deal with this would be so helpful, I really dont want her to hate me, but think its so dangerous me getting involved even as a friend, as I need to properly heal!
A
female
reader, deekay +, writes (20 October 2008):
From a woman's point of view, i think she does know what she wants, and i'm sorry to say it isn't you its maybe the the thought of you because after all u were the one who hoped for a reunion initially.Now that you are backing off she feels rejected but i really think its only that.sorry.Good luck with whatever you decide.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2008): She obviously has emotional ties to you- part of her wants to let go but something in her can't seem to let you go completely. Either way, what she is doin to you isn't helping either of you, and i know because at times I still feel "in love" with my past bfs but i realize that i have to make a decision as to what I'm goin to do. You should ask her point-blank how she feels. Tell her that if she's still in love she has to decide whether she wants to be in a relationship of not and if she doesn't want to, she has to refrain from sending the "i love you" txt messages because its leading you both on. also, if she wants a relationship, she needs to make that clear instead of sending mixed signals. If she doesn't know what she wants, tell her to take some time to think about it and get back to you when she figures it out.I hope things work out for you! Keep us posted!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2008): I think it might be best if you lay low, because it sounds to me like she doesn't know WHAT she wants! One minute hot, one minute cold..that's not fair to you, wondering every minute where you stand.
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