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male
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*onsta
writes: Hi i need alittle help, i posted about 4 months ago when me and my ex split up and a quick recap, we have 2 children lived together for 4 years 6 months in our own place, we split up i moved out and within 3 weeks she started talking to her ex again who she had not spoke to in 5 years and denied it to me until i caught her out texting him she said nothin was going on. Anyway after a nightmare 2 months we sorted things out and gave it another try up until now it has been good but recently she has been depressed, i have been there for her buying her flowers etc.. but last night she got a text saying "are you ok?" and this was from her ex, she promised not to talk to him anymore and says she has not but why would he send that message unless he knew she was depressed? so she must of talked to him. am i being paranoid or do i have a reason to suspect shes been talking to him? it ended up an argument and us spliting up again.i need help! please
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2006): This is a tough one, and I know this because I am going through the same thing myself...You can be paranoid, especially when you both agreed to work things out, but sometimes its really intuition that is telling you "something is not right", and it isn't right...I suggest that you sit your girlfriend down and have a heart to heart. Do it in HER best interest. Even if you're upset or resentful, put it all aside and find the root of why she may be unhappy. My motto is that "the truth with set you free" and if there's something that she feels cannot be fixed in your relationship, its better to deal with it through her HEAD ON instead of avoiding it and to wonder...Now you may find out it's little things that are making her depressed, and something is giving her the motive to contact her ex, and you need to very sweetly find out why she is turning to him and not you...And maybe she feels she can confide in you when you have this talk, as you try to be her friend, and she may tell you why she does what she does. Maybe you can really help her. Maybe she feels hes a better listener or is giving her something right now that she feels you lack, and instead of making that response distancing you more, find out how you can become that "person", that "confidant" again so she wont feel that need to text him or call him...
I think for you its a bit more complex since you do have children, so I advice you to try and work things out for the sake of your kids. I wish you luck and really pray about about it:-)God can always make a huge difference:-)
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