A
male
age
36-40,
*ignmeup
writes:Every time I'm with my girl "best friend" she is very possessive, wants me to spend all of my attention on her and gets upset if I don't.Also she gets veeery jealous and upset if I so much as look at another girl she'll bring out "why don't you go make out with her" etc.She probably likes me way more than a friend right? What's a good way to bring this up with her.
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female
reader, BettyBoup  +, writes (12 July 2010):
 Ok, if that's the case, you need to ask yourself, is this slight interest worth risking a good friendship for? If this goes wrong, and she has a deep love for you, it could be quite painful for her. If she doesn't actually feel the same, could your friendship survive the awkwardness?
If you're sure you want to give it a go, perhaps just be honest with her. Don't tell her you think she has feelings for you. Tell her you have feelings for her, and were wondering if she felt the same. Tell her you don't want to mess up your friendship if she doesn't feel the same way, but let her know you're open to something more with her.
Just don't use her for sex if you're not that into her. If she's really into you, its just not fair.
A
male
reader, signmeup +, writes (9 July 2010):
signmeup is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the replies, I guess I never really indicated in the original post, but I think I have a slight interest and could be interested to see where things went, but I would like to approach with extreme caution.
We do often do things that couples would do, you could almost say we are a couple minus the commitment and extra activities..
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A
female
reader, BettyBoup +, writes (9 July 2010):
Yes it's very possible that she does. I've been in her situation, and it's a very painful one. To be secretly in love with someone who just sees you as a good friend. You want to spend time with them but the whole time you're just falling more in love with that person, and they are not. It sucks!
Well, don't bring it up with her, if you don't feel the same! That would be totally mortifying for her! Its like calling her bluff. If she does really like you, and you just like her as a friend(which I assume is the case, as you havn't said that you harbour deep feelings for her also), bringing this into the open will be deeply painful and embarassing for her. She would probably avoid you after that.
but on the other hand, if you keep hanging out with her and calling on her for company, you may be feeding into a fantasy that she has a chance with you. Try to be kind. If you have no romantic feelings for her, try to stop calling on her for company so much. Give her the message that you like her as a friend, but nothing more. Do you hang out as a couple might somtimes? Spend a lot of time together? Try to stop doing this, as this may be giving her the wrong impression. She can't help how she's feeling, if she has a crush on you. It happens! So try to be kind to her, without feeding her fantasy that she has a chance romantically.
Good luck :)
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A
female
reader, ruby buttons +, writes (9 July 2010):
 honesty is the best policy if you dont broach the subject she will only think you like her back, i would sit her down and talk to her that her behaviour is making you uncomfortable and what will happen when you do have a gf!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2010): ask her to go with you to the cinema and ask her during the film.
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