A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am a 21 year old male in a relationship with 1 girl for going on 2 years now. We plan on getting married in a little over 2 years after we both get out of college. When we started out having sex, it was perfect. Every weekend we saw each other almost always we'd have sex, but now that has dwindled to maybe once every couple of months. I love her with all my heart, and know she loves me too, but when it comes to sex we are on opposite ends. Now she never wants sex, and yes, I know it has some to do with work and school, and various other life stressors. But since a couple of months after we first had sex she slowly stopped even coming on to me, before eventually hardly evening kissing me. We have had lots of talks about this, but it never changes. She continually says that she wants me, and thinks of me when she masturbates, but when I see her its always a no. She doesnt even want to kiss me hardly. I try everyday to please her, and make her happy and comfortable in every aspect of her life. I've told her many times how important our sexual life is to me. I don't know what to do, or how to spark her interest in me again. I have already tried pretty much every piece of advice i can find.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2008): It could be the stress of whatever is going on in her life right now, and sex is obviously not as high on her 'to do' list as it is yours.
At the start of any relationship sex is always very frequent because it's something new to be explored and exciting, but it nearly always dwindles off after a while.
If sex is a high priority to you, my advice would be not to get too drawn into all this marriage talk. Not yet anyway. Once the stresses of her life are no longer there, see how it goes. If the frequency of sex doesn't change for the better it's unlikely to do so in the future, and getting married won't make it any more frequent either - just the opposite in fact.
You may have to face the fact that sexually you're incompatible. If that's the case only you can decide whether that's going to be acceptable and whether you think marriage is a good idea.
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