A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Last night my girlfriend and I had a talk. She is still going through a divorce (has been since February, but it's just taking a long time for one reason or another), she says she feels a little suffocated, and she says she needs to get her life together before she can give me her whole heart. She says it's not fair that she can't give me 100% of her heart right now.She also said that she see's us getting married and she wants to see our relationship work and she wants to give me her whole heart, but right now isn't the best time.She's got a little two year old whom I love as my own and I asked if I could still see her and she said yes. She said we can still see each other too, it'll just be different.I'm very confused.So my question is, what does all that mean? I love this girl with all my heart and I want to wait for her to take care of things, but how long is too long and what do I do in the meantime? And am I being naive? Should I wait a week or so then bring it back up?Thanks in advance.
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (16 September 2010):
 She's not even divorced yet! 1 weeks isn't enough time and space to give her. You need to give her more, she is going to be adjusting to a new life versus the old one she had. Or she may be thinking of getting back with her husband, there could be a reason it's taking so long that you're unaware of. I could be wrong. But really it's not ideal for her to leave one marriage and try to start another relationship and marriage eventually with her. The timing is bad and she's not ready. So you need to listen to what she asks and give her space and time. You may be waiting quite a while so I suggest you get some hobbies. There's no telling how long she will need to adjust to the changes, but it's not going to be anytime soon I'll tell you that right now. If you're waiting any longer than 3 months, take it as you're not getting back together and move onto a woman who is fully available preferably one who is not married or separated.
A
female
reader, GirlyGirl76  +, writes (16 September 2010):
I think your girlfriend has made it very clear to you...she doesn't want a relationship right now. I think seeing her and her child would be a bad idea right now as well. That will just confuse both of you and especially screw up the kid. You should really tell her it is best at this point and that maybe she should just concentrate on raising her baby. Give it a few months of no contact then call and see where she is at in her life. Good luck
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