A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I and my gf were in a close relationship for 2 years and recently we moved to our respective cities and were in a long distance relationship for 5 months...and one fine day she called me and told that a guy kissed her in a weak moment and she didn't resist back....I was very furious at that time but after few days I forgave her....and then after a month I went to her place and found out in her messages that they both had a brief intimate moment ...in which they kissed passionately and cuddled in the car back seat and almost about to get naked but didn't according to her and she clearly enjoyed it ...what should I do now....I loved her like anything...and even she loved me....and she is very sorry for what she did....but I can never have the same feelings for her and my trust is severely broken...but it's even harder to be apart from her...and also it's a matter of trust....can anyone help me please...?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2019): I believe she is not ready for a serious relationship. You're both young. Although in the old days people were long married with kids by your age, nowadays this isn't nearly as common. It doesn't matter if you were apart 5 months. True love prevails. It makes it through all obstacles. Love failed in your case because there was no love present. On her side at least. We do not cheat on people we love. I think you should move on. It's over.
A
female
reader, Sweet Dreamer xxx  +, writes (7 February 2019):
 I'm sorry this happened to you.
You have said it yourself, you will never feel the same again. If there is no trust, there is no relationship. That being said it is easy to judge a relationship from the outside.
But, you went through her messages, this means that the trust is gone from your side so is there any point in salvaging the relationship, especially if those feelings on your part has changed. So has hers? It this why she kissed another? You need to really sit down and talk, whether to break up or work through it this is your decision.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2019): I think you can blame the 5 months separation here.5 months is a long time and you need to ascertain why you left her alone for so long and didn't expect her to feel neglected.Because it is too long.You can never maintain a relationship from a distance so long.If you look on the positive side your girlfriend is alive and well.Had it been worse case scenario you wouldn't have the luxury of considering if you can forgive her or not.What can you do now?Well you can put your moral jacket on and set her free because you left her alone too long.And let her try to muddle along with the rest of her life because you are both asking too much of each other.Many people will disagree with me and immediately write in to disagree.But it is very difficult to be in love with a phone call or computer screen.Usually the other half needs more than a phone call or computer screen.They become restless when they are feeling like stock on the shelf and your obvious absence becomes very noticeable to others around them.But feel free to disagree!
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (6 February 2019):
 I think it is important that you can distinguish between:
- she kissed another man.
- She kissed another man while she was in a committed relationship with you.
Next you have just been introduced to a nasty fact of being a betrayed partner. It's called Trickle Truth. Where the wayward partner only admits to the most innocent details that can be proven. It is a lying by omission thing that is often harder to forgive than the action hidden.
I see an India flag by your name, and to westerners like me that is a caution sign. We often assume a wrong level of commitment in the relationships. in short, do you two have plans for marriage?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2019): That's a horrible thing to have found out, I'm so sorry. I realise that your feelings for her are very strong, … BUT, it seems that the strength of her feelings don't match yours. If she was being so intimate with someone that she nearly took her clothes off, then if I were you I would have a large problem trusting her again. She may well be sorry, but her morals, or her 'love' for you, did not stop her from making out with someone else. I can't see any way around this other than to break up with her. It will hurt you a lot I know, but imagine the constant pain of no trust. You were only apart for five months and this breach of trust happened in that time span. You weren't apart for very long and she made out with someone else. Forget her and move on and find another woman who loves you as much as you love herGood luck
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 February 2019):
 So, the reason you know is because you saw her message, which mean YOU went through her phone or social media.
She didn't TELL you which means she probably doesn't feel much remorse about this, only that she got caught. Sure, she is sorry.... SHE got found out.
You ARE "just" dating, correct? There is no immediate plan for marriage in place?
And yes, OF COURSE your trust in her is severely broken, how can it NOT be?
YOU have to decide if this is someone YOU want to continue building a future with or if cheating is a deal-breaker. ONLY you can decide that.
If you decide to stay with her, I would have a think about how YOU think she can start rebuilding trust. And also, ASK her how SHE will work on re-building trust with you.
If you decide to END it, then be prepared to work through the grief, anger and upset. IT will get better. She might NOT be the one for you, and at least you found out BEFORE you married.
You say you forgave her, but you haven't really. You just haven't decided what you REALLY want.
A "brief intimate moment" might be a SYMPTOM of your relationship NOT working or lacking in some areas. OR that she simply has a different set of values, morals and boundaries than you.
So figure out WHAT you really want. Then go from there.
I'm not even going to address how you found out. But you DID have some kind of trust issues before THIS happened.
WHY?
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