A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:My spouse keeps pictures of her ex-lovers (even nude ones) and still talks to them. When asked why, she says that they are now only friends. I have mentioned that obviously she doesn't have a closure with these relationships and lives in her past.It kind of bothers because we are in the present and perhaps that will affect the relationship in the long run.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2010): she's a whore, break up with her...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2010): Hello,
Its understandable that you feel threatened by the fact that she keeps these photos. I personally would be more concerned about the nude photos than the fact that she talks to them as they are constant reminders of her sexual past with other people, whilst in a relationship is not the best reminder to have.
I think the best wat forward is to tell her how it makes you feel and how it could potentially affect your current relationship. If she respects you enough and genuinely wants to make and effort to create a strong and stable relationship where both of you feel secure, then she should have no problems throwing the photos away.
As for still talking to the ex's, its generally not the best idea, again for the same reasons as above. The are constant reminders of the past. However, if you are very sure that its strictly on a friend basis and you are not overly threatened then it should be okay for her to continute.If on the other hand you are not okay with it, again sit her down and explain your feelings. She should, if she takes you and your relationship seriously, listen.
Hope this helps :)
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (15 March 2010):
 Keeping the nude pics is a good thing. I see it as an insurance policy in case any of them try to blackmail her...she has this "insurance". My guess is that they surely have nude pics of her, if not videos. I doubt she'd be the only one to have them.
That being said, being friends with them is another story.
The first rule of monogamy is that you only have sex with one person. The second rule of monogamy is that you never do anything that would potentially threaten the first rule.
I think that if you beleive that her friendship with her exs is a potential threat to your monogamy, then she needs to respect that. But, is it just insecurity, or do you think they are real threats?
-Frank Kermit
Author, Making Monogamy Work
http://www.franktalks.com
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A
female
reader, mother_of_2  +, writes (15 March 2010):
well she hasnt never had a closer with them so she still has alot of love for them and no matter if they're friends or not she still shouldnt have nude pics of her ex lover and u should tell her that if she really loves u and wanna be with u then she's gonna have to find that closer for them and get rid of them pics if she chooses not to them honey u deserve better then someone holding on to nude pics of there ex and she should know how u was gonna feel about that
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