A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:We have been dating for a year and a half. She stopped talking to me. For 7 days nothing. I wrote a five Page letter saying how I feel about her and ect. I texted her to check these fake mailboxes where I put it. The next day I get this text saying my letter is amazing, I love, miss you. She said her ex husband threatened to hurt me (he's a cheater/controlling and really nasty) so she backed off. Her younger kid is really sick ( he has rsv and gets sick a lot). Then her sister (high school) said on One of the days she was raped by the neighbor. Her dad had a heart attack following. I've never met her family, just her younger kid. I was planning to meet the older daughter and family soon. She was ready before and I held back a little. Our relationship was secret on both sides. Her ex-husband knew though. I comforted her that night. Just texts. I offered to be there. She went silent for two days. Texted me one. Silent one. Texted. Silent two. Texted. Silent one. Texted. I walked around Walmart with her that day for my lunch. We hugged. Texted the next. Silent one day. I sent a text about seeing her on st. Patty's day. Then silent all day till around 6pm and I got this "Sorry I've got too much going on right now. Your cute though. Smile face. Ill try to text you tommorow. Back at hospital and I can't be on my phone sorry. Have a good night". Then she hasn't texted since. The days when she texted we texted back and forth for about 2 hrs each time. She went into grave details about her sisters investigation, how her parents are doing, ect. She told me she loves me. Misses me. I have usually only been texting a have a good day and have a good night message with some jokes, reasons why I love her, comforting things, ect everyday.I was worried maybe she might want me to not text but she texted your texts make me smile and I love them in response. She even had a rant about the guy that messed with her sister. Doesn't anyone respect relationships anymore( he was married). She know s I'm different. You should see the messages and poems I send and write her just to let her know I'm there, ect. It's like I'm the perfect boyfriend lol! Im not i sometime get emotional but not angry. I would go to apartment but she hasn't been there basically the whole time. I couple time. She has been at her parents(idk where it is). She was at her apt yesterday. It's right by my house. She wasn't there at 10pm when I came home. It was there to my shock at 7:20 am when I went to work. Then I drove by on my way to a job at 11:30am. It was still there. But when I came home for lunch 1pm she was gone. I thought maybe she moved out before that. I've said if you don't want to be with me or if you want me to stop texting I will and it will be over. I said that when she first went silent. She never answered. I told her i won't leave her and I'll be here when she's ready when she started text again. Anyway it's been 10 days of silence since the last text. I have stopped the have a good day/ goodnight encouraging texts recently. I don't want her think I gave up on her in her time of need. I told her I was going to back off but im here and ready to listen. I said I love her and she can have all the time she needs. Idk what do you guys think I should do? I just want advice. She knows it bugs me when she doesn't text at all, but I guarantee you she is super depressed. Help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (27 March 2012):
 It looks like there is nothing much that you can do in a situation like this. She knows that you are there for her and you will be good to her but she is ignoring this and she obviously has her reasons. She has had a hard time and been controlled before by her ex husband, and it sounds like he is still controlling her now, so my guess is that she is scared and that is why she has stopped replying to you. Yes it is hard for you, but I doubt that you will get any commitment from her. I know she is going through a hard time at the moment but you don't want to end up hurt either, you need to look after yourself as well. So try and keep busy and don't contact her, its for the best.
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