A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm having some inner conflicts with my mind. Ever since about 5th or 6th grade, I had a close friend. We got closer as we progressed through high school, and suddenly I realized I had a best friend. We would talk for hours on the phone, have fun conversations, we were practically twins! Same last name, same interests, basically everything in common. We could tell each other anything. Even the relationships she'd get into, they didn't affect our friendship at all like it does in some friendships. It's just, she always had very negative qualities about her. Very opinionated, making so many excuses for things, using others, and something that always bothered me, was that she would do ANYTHING to get what she wanted, even if it meant going against her parents or hurting others. I used to ignore all of that because I knew she could be a good friend and I would always say her good qualities out-ranked the bad ones, which is why we lasted friends so long. But when we reached 10th grade, she made a lasting impression on me that I never forgot, and ever since then I started to drift apart from her. 10th grade: showed me she didn't 100% accept me for who I was11th grade: became mad at me because I cared more about preparing for my future education than a one last fling with friends to Europe12th grade: I was on my tipping point and low and behold fellI put up with it as long as I could. But I became more and more stressed everyday because of her. My parents tried to tell me over the years that they never liked her and always thought she was a bad friend for me, but I wouldn't listen. But after all the hurt and the questions on here I finally took everyone's advice. I recently graduated from high school and since that day, I have not been in contact with her since and I haven't been stressed and life's been relaxing.But a part of me feels like maybe I didn't make the best decision. When I think of certain moments, I realize almost all of the happy ones were spent with her. I have other friends that I love, but they're not as close as we were. I've realized that I miss having a best friend. I miss having someone to talk to everyday and share all my exciting news with, sharing interest like our favorite bands. I mean my very first concert which happened to be of our absolute favorite band, I went with her. How do I just forget about a moment like that?I've always had anger issues. And I know that that's extremely unhealthy, especially for the mind. But it's just some part of me that doesn't know how to let go. I hold grudges, I remember negative things people do to me, sometimes all I remember are the bad things instead of the good times. After all the stress she brought me, I think I forgot to appreciate the good times we had together. I let my anger cloud my judgement. But it's just, you could go from having a great time laughing and just having fun when all of a sudden she says or does something that just irks you and suddenly you become angry. It's like mood swings with her.One of my friends wants to have a get together but I don't know what to do now. Do I invite her? Do I invite my other two friends who since graduation are more close with her and who I also haven't been in contact with? Last time she dropped by unexpectedly to give me a graduation card and things to me just felt incredibly awkward. It never used to be that way.What do you guys think? Did I make a terrible mistake? Or did I make the right decision?
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female
reader, Tashar  +, writes (7 July 2012):
 I don`t think you made a mistake it seemed you two seemed to drift apart. I don`t thin you should forget all the good memories but i am starting to wonder was you really that close? Now maybe if she stressed you out is it worth talking and getting her back into your life again? I think to help you make this choice you should evaluate the time spent with and with out her and see which you find better. Now if you do start to talk again maybe you should just start with small talk and slowly and gradually build it up and get to know her again if you do this it may bring you closer than you thought. This is normal to feel what you feel you feel but you need to choice what you really want first and decide what way to go about it as it seems to me that your mind is all over at the minute. I hope this advice is useful to you and good luck.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 July 2012):
 No I do not think you made a mistake. You are not expected just to forget about all the memories you both shared together, and off course it is okay to miss her and miss chatting to her, that is just normal. But if she caused you stress then I would hardly say the both of you where as close as you think you might have been. Yes I agree everybody has bad qualities about them as well as good ones. But if she didn't support you and made you feel bad about yourself then do you really want her to be in your life?
Yes I am sure you miss having a best friend, but why not ring your other friends, share your stories with them, become closer friends. You have finished school now, and believe me you will soon go on to make new friendships and go through new experiences and you will be able to look back on your school days and smile. Most people fall away from there friends from school as people go in all different directions in life. So try not and dwell on this two much. If you want to still keep in contact with her then that is your choice, just never let anyone put you down or walk all over you.
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