A
male
age
30-35,
*otton
writes:So ok... In my last question i asked if i should let go of the girl i love with all of my heart right. well here is an update and a new question... she has told me that she is happy with her new boyfriend, however everytime we talk she talks about how she has thought about us being together in the future as husband and wife and that scared her cause she has always thought that she would date all sorts of men and then settle down after college. so she left me because another guy found intrest in her and we were together for 2 years loved it and out of no where she left me and then told me what i have just told you. We have seen eachother like 3 times since the break up and everytime we see eachother she puts these stupid fake smiles on and talks really dumb, well yesterday when i left after getting the rest of my stuff from her, i texted her and said why do you act like this is some sort of fun game? if you havent read my other question please read it, this will make more sense. and she replied "i dont think that its a game i care about you and love you i just want to be happy and not said, and i dont want to cry infront of you." things like that which is telling me that she still wants to be with me but not right now is what i am getting cause when we talk she talks about things like this. however she really likes tyler and i dont know what to do cause i love her with all my heart and i dont want to lose her for an extensive amount of time... what do you think i should do? I mean is she just saying these things? oh and by the way the last text i sent her was "if you are feeling like you have to hide your tears and feel the way you do about me then why arent you with me? what you feel for tyler is lust, what we had was love." and i just said that i was going to leave it at that, but then she replied "we will have 2 wait and see, but right now i am happy. just wait and see". what the hell does that mean? and should i wait, because i see this women as my wife i really do and thats the problem cause thats what hurts the most knowing that she wants to live before settling down with me. do i wait because i know that what i am feeling is love or is this just a ploy of hers? please help me with as many answers as possible. thank you so very much.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (17 November 2008):
She's being honest although she is being very selfish.
She's basically saying that if you want you can wait around and then when she's finished having fun she will come back to good old you for kids and marriage.
If you want to wait around for the next 5 years and watch her shag about and hope that she doesn't find someone better then she just might come back to you eventually. She also may not.
I think you need to cut contact with her and try and get over her.
It's not fair for her to expect you to wait for her. She may be making a huge and stupid mistake but that is her choice.
Cut contact and stop fanning her ego.
Good Luck!! xx
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