A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I want some advice about a girl I have known for about a year and a half now, she's called called R and I'm C. She's 19 and I am 20.. we both met through a friend of ours. We established a really good friendship.. we talk about lots of things and have so much in common it's quite amazing really.. Anyway a good few months back we had quite a heart to heart and she said I really like you but it's hard because we've not known each other for long, so we left it.. anyway due to other things.. we didn't speak much for a while and when we next spoke she said I'm dating my friend Pete from college and she said she seems happy so I said I'm glad your happy, you deserve to be and stuff, but she is now at Uni and I work not far from where she is in the halls of residence, so we were just talking about careers further into our conversation and I said do you sill want to be a nurse, sure do, jokingly I said I'm going to come and arrest you when you qualify.. so she said (I want to be a Police Officer also) I want you wearing full uniform seriously. Anyway I laughed it off and I asked her how things were with her and Pete and she said they're ok but he has his little own fanclub of girls at college and he'll probably dump me for some nicer girl.. so I said he would be a fool not 2 and I mentioned do you think you will be together in time ready to settle down once you have finished Uni and she said to be honest no because we have nothing at all in common :(whereas me and her have so much in common).As the conversation come to a close.. she said "I've gotta go now and get some sleep goodnight hunny" xxx" so I said sure thing I will try and text you over the weekend and she said I will look forward to it and she went.. now I might be sounding silly here but there's things that we really seem to connect on and it's hard to say anything about how we both feel because she has a bf and she clearly admitted she liked me before Pete come along.. Anyone have any suggestions?Thanks
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (18 October 2008):
There is a real risk that you are going to slide into the "friend zone" and you'll be her best friend and she'll have her boyfriend plus you on the side.
I think you have to be straight with her early on so she doesn't end up worrying she'll "ruin your friendship" if she got with you.
Tell her you really like her and you want to be with her. Tell her that you can't hang out with her if she has a boyfriend as it is not right. Hopefully she'll realise that Pete is not worth having and will split up with him to keep you.
However, she may just like pete more than you, but enjoy flirting with you. It's a risk that she will turn you down, but what have you got to gain by staying her friend while she goes off with him?
Good Luck!! xx
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