A
male
age
30-35,
*amie Loves Lucy
writes:Right, me and my girlfriend have been going out for 7 months and its been the best 7 months of my life. She is 17 years old and i am 18 years old.But as of recently, my girlfriend has started to have mixed feelings; she wants to be able to experience the physical side aswell as the emotional side...So basically, she wants to have a loving and caring boyfriend who is always there for her for the emotional aspect but she wants to see other guys for the physical aspect, but she has told me she doesnt want an open relationship because she says itll make her feel bad.I feel that her workmates are to blame for this... Before she started working in this new place, she never even thought about seeing other guys; i was all that was on her mind, but as soon as she starts working in this new place and becomes friends with everyone that works there, she suddenly has this new view on our relationship.Her workmates constantly tell her how she is too young for a serious relationship, which i think is a load of rubbish to be honest. It should be about what my girlfriend wants, not what her friends want.Thing is, my girlfriend's friends' views on her having this serious relationship at 17 is starting to win her over, and now my girlfriend has sleepless nights and stressful days due to the fact its always on her mind.She says she wants to be with me, and that she loves me more than anything, but that she is finding it really hard and that she has recently had offers from multiple guys to do stuff with - which really really reeeeeeaaally annoys me...I want what we have, I have never been so close to anyone before in my life, she is everything to me. She tells me she wants the best of both worlds, but i know its only upto her and only she can find the answer.I know for a fact that she wants what her and i have together, but she is tempted by the excitement of seeing other people.I dont know what to do, i really want her and me to work and i dont want her to be tempted by other people, i want it to be just her and me like it was before.She goes through phases where she questions whether or not this serious relationship with me is what she really wants (probably due to her workmates' views and what not), it is possible that it is another phase but if it is, then its a really really long one.Help me out guys Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2009): Phase or not, a lot of people feel like this when they are this young in a relationship that plans to be forever, as they grow older. Even if she was not with her coworkers, at some point in her life she would feel like this. There are people who are grateful for having a loved one while so young, and never had to crave lust to have an empty feeling of fulfillment in their following yrs of adulthood. Too bad..shes not one of them.
Sad that she is only hearing one side of life from her coworkers. Yes there is a physical side you can chose...to date other guys but I often hear stories in the later years from women and men, thinking they have made the wrong decision, that they should have never left them and now that they look for their previous ex, now find out they have moved on with another mate, married etc.
I would recommend to have a talk with her and tell her exactly how you feel and what is on your mind, and what is hurting you, at the same time try to understand how she feels. As much as you would love her to stay with you and be the same, you can't force her to act how you want. It's either she chooses to be with you or not because I fear at some point she will hurt you very badly if she can not control herself. Her friends can put ideas in her head but I wonder if all of them are with someone they love and feel this so called excitement from what they do. One can get sex anywhere but not a decent mate or relationship.
I hope some of this helps, to be honest I tried to avoid young girls like this so I didn't have to encounter these problems so I just wish you the best of luck.
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