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male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I've been in a relationship for about a month or 2. I have been in plenty of relationships in the past, dumped some girls, been dumped, and moved on. My latest relationship, however, is rather different. I'm 17, she's 19. In the past month or so we've gone on around 5 dates. On our last one, she says that she doesn't want a relationship. I felt horrible, and now I can't keep my mind off of her. I dream about her when I sleep. She says that she'll go out with me when her family issues are straightened out. She has a twin sister, and they don't get along well at all. I'm very fine with her wanting to solve family issues, but she is going to college soon. I'm not sure what to do at this point. I've told her how I feel about her, but she doesn't want a relationship at this time. We still hang out, but I'm wanting to be much more than friends, and she knows this. Advice? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (9 December 2006):
 I would suggest stay friends but try to move on an do not see her so often try to keep doing things u like in your free time and go on themore activities u do the less u will remind of her, if you relax driving them drive and visit new towns with a friend or even alone, read, practise sports... therapy can also help though medication is no good and it's expensive so tey to do it alone or with you family and friend's help sometimes we do not deserve time eonguh for our family and we can have an incredibly surprise it is the real support of a person not only love realtionship
I'm sure u'll be fine in a couple of weeks
ciao
A
male
reader, David Lewis  +, writes (9 December 2006):
 I agree with Nikita on this one.
Hold your head up and just be a good friend. Let her realise how much she enjoys your company and how much fun you are to be around. Be supportive in times of need and provide a listening ear. BUT, however close you get in times of high emotion, DON'T try to kiss her or take advantage of her emotional state. Even if she tries to kiss you, don't allow it. She will respect that and value your friendship all the more.
She has made it clear that she wants you back. Help her through the family situation and form a solid friendship.
A relationship built on a basis of trust, respect and strong friendship is the perfect formula for any relationship. I see you both having a very happy future together, if you play your part.
Best of luck and keep us informed.
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A
female
reader, Nikita +, writes (9 December 2006):
 Dear Anon,
Im sorry to hear that she doesn't want a relationship anymore. Its hard but you're going to have to respect her wishes. you can't force her into coming back to you. She obviously has her reasons and if she has family issues then you're going to have to let her resolve them. If she sees that you're being patient and mature about the situation then when she's ready, she may want to try again. There's not much you can do but stay friends with her, be there for her if she's got problems and be supportive. If she knows that you still want a relationship then there's no point in pushing the issue. She knows how you feel and will let you know when she feels ready again. I really hope that you get what you want. Good luck.
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