A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:im a lesbian and with my girlfriend a few months now who is a few years older then me. things are good she told her mum about us at last and was a bit slow at that to start with but ok now and said in time she will take me there. we have commitment rings and see each other two to three times a week so all good. shes loving and the sex is good. only thing is tho she never says i love you, but has said it a couple of times only since we been together and doesnt seem to like to say it much and if i say it to her or send nice loving texts as well she never says it back and will say or text something else nothing to do with what i have said. i did ask her if she loves me and she said yes, the rings were her idea too and we will live together after a year of being with each other. also she dont like to hold hands when out as we are gay and dont show that we are together in case people get funny but is loving when inside.
View related questions:
I love you, lesbian, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2011): hi. good advice thanks i'm very grateful and you are right. well its been 5 months and we got commitment rings, her idea and she said she will take me to see her family, at some point, after we together longer. i met her gay brother and his partner already. when my parents were away though, last week, she was at mine all week and loved it, things were good. now she back at hers. she likes time to herself and i see her 3 times a week mainly. stay one of the nites and visit for a day in the week. i get the feeling she don't want to see me too much.
A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (2 April 2011):
 a few months sounds like 2-4 months to me. at this stage saying i love you all the time might be overkill, as real feelings of love as opposed to infatuation take a long time to cement themselves in a person.
from what i have seen of lesbians i have known their relationships tend to get very intense, very quickly (and can finish just as dramatically). maybe just appreciate the times she does express her feelings as at the moment it sounds like you are feeling insecure because she isn't responding to you every single time you declare how you feel. maybe she doesn't want to, you dont have to frame every reaction that doesn't satisfy you as some form of rejection.
people vary greatly in how they express feelings of love. some want to say it every five seconds and hold hands constantly, while others find public displays of affection tacky and unnecessary.
you need to realise that in your question the one thing i do think that stands out, that may be a real issue instead of an exaggerated one, is meeting her family. meeting them is far more important to the long term stability of your relationship than smootching in public and sending too many loved up texts.
focus on that one area and you will feel happier when you do meet them than if she changed personality and did all those little things you crave. appreciate her for the good things she does, but do make an effort to involve yourself with her family if you can.
...............................
|
