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male
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*ome74
writes: Hi,I have been seeing a lady I met off of the internet for about 4 months now and for the first month it was amazing. The only problem I had was that she constantly talked about her ex-boyfriends. All the time. And she still does. Then things got a bit bizarre. In bed, she would quite happily take pleasure, but then would roll over and want to go to sleep when she was satisfied, leaving me unsatisfied. Her attitude was that I shouldn't mind, and be happy to wait until another time, leaving me frustrated as hell. This didn't happen all the time, but did happen quite a few times. She suggested that I could pleasure myself instead, and I said that if I wanted to do that, I wouldn't be being intimate with her.When we came back from a holiday, she informed me that a man she had met off the same dating website as me, and stayed friends with, had asked her out to play golf, and that she was going. She had told him that she wasn't interested in a relationship with him, but he was still keen. I was very put out by this. I have no issue with either of us having friends of the opposite sex at all. I was hurt because this guy could see the door being left open from continuing contact. We had a row, she sought the advice of several her friends who agreed with me, and she broke off contact with him.Her last ex was physically intimidating to her and would throw her out of his house if they had a row, call her names and cheated on her often. He phoned the other night and asked to come and pick up some of his stuff. I said that I would be there, no problem, but she says that she is worried about he might feel about that. She also said that they had had a good chat on the phone, sorted through some stuff, and that she might see herself meeting up for coffee with him one day soon for a further chat. I don't mind her having male friends, but this guy has said that 'none of my exes ever really leave me, they always come back' to her, and I feel that her continuing to see him is unreasonable to me, and if I am honest about it, makes me angry. What should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2006): Can I ask, why are you exactly with this women?
She seems a very, very, bad girlfriend who has absolutely no qualities that would make for a good girlfriend, or long-term partner.
There are many, many people out there who would be more suited to you, and who would never treat you in the way this girl is doing. I strongly suggest you take a look at why you are allowing yourself to be treated like a doormat and putting up with this kind of behaviour.
You need to realise your own self-worth, get some self-respect and move on from this women before she causes you further heartache.
A
female
reader, leaa +, writes (19 September 2006):
I'm so sorry - but she is using you. move on, she is not for you.
If she had any feelings for you, she would dis-connect from all her ex's and not mention or discuss them with you, but instead talk about your relationship together.
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