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writes: Can a human being love two people in the same way?Please advice me on what to do. My problem is that I have a girl which i truly love, but she told me she told me she really love me with all her heart, and at the same time love another boy just like the way she love me, that she neither want to loss me nor the other guy, and that if I really love her I should please bear with her. My question now is what do I really do to this girl cox I really love her and I never want to loss her too. But can one love two people at the same time just like the way she told me or she just discieving me? Please help me cox I am getting lost on this. Thanks
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female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (3 December 2006):
 We can all sit here and judge who is is allowed to feel this or that, but reality is that some people are more confused that others, and depending on the circumstances, this girl may need more time to decide who to choose.
It is possible to love one person but be in love with another. Fortunate are that ones that never had to go through this ordeal It is not fun.
But to avoid hurt the three of you any further, she must decide who she really wants. That is eminent.
To some people loving someone could mean that you care and feel affection for them, they treat the way you always wanted to be treated/loved etc, which is often confused with love.
You only can be IN LOVE WITH ONE AT THE TIME though.
This girl has the answer, until you know it, give her some space. For your sake aswell, in case you are not the One.
xxx
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (3 December 2006):
 yes it is possible to love more than one person at the same time. There is a good book on the topic entitled The Ethical Slut which is a book on polyamory. It should give you the information you are looking for. Also some websites on polyamory that could help.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2006): Sorry, it's "lose" and not "loss". 8]
Anyway, it's possible to love two people at the same time, but the same way might be a bit more complicated then just that. Mind you, that possibility of loving two people might also mean the diluted ideal of what love actually means. She might just be mistakened what love is, and have a strong desire for the set of qualities each of you have, maybe even each of your resembling each other in the process. It's also possible that she sees you two resembling each other, but not being aware of it, and not being to choose which one to accept.
The thing is, if you're willing to play along with her indecisiveness, then you can stay of course. If you aren't willing and have your own integrity to follow through, then you can give her an ultimatum. Then again, this can be a 'healthy' competition you're facing. It's a challenge, and you want to win her heart over.
It's actually quite simple. You do exactly what you do whether she likes someone else or not to try to win her heart over. Either or, what you do is basically exactly how you would try to get her through usual means - even if they are unusual.
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