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male
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anonymous
writes: hi, i'll get straight to the point. im in love with a woman whom i have recently split up from for the second time in 4 months. crazy eh?? i moved in with her at the start and everything was more or less perfect. after about a year id heard she had been cheating with a lot of men, sending very suggestive txts, shaging in pub toilets and even on the sofa while i was asleep upstairs. ofcourse i had to tell her what id heard...and she went wild!! to say the least. the end result was me getting booted out. within 2 weeks she appologised in tears and ask me to move back which i did. two months later she went on hol abroad when she came back she wouldnt come near me or hardly speak to me after 2 weeks she told me she didnt want me so i left. recently she started txtin saying how stupid she was and that she really loved me but couldnt understand that someone loved her and cared about her(past issues??) asked me to move back in ,i refused wanted to take it slow this time and really get to know and trust eachother. needless to say she flipped and and now wants nothing to do with a spineless a*****le like me. i really love her and care about her and miss her. i just dont know why she being this way. if i move back in i know i'll be out again in a few months but if i dont i'll never see her again....help please, what should i do???
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2006): I think she might be the one who is a spineless a*****le.
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male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (25 October 2006):
 The issue that I see is that you assume that just because you love her, means you have to accept this kind of UNacceptable behavior. Unless what want your relationship to continue this way, then best WALK AWAY. It does not matter WHY she acts like this. The point is she acts like this, and she is not in the emotional space to develop the kind of relationship that you seem to want with her.
Find someone else. Love alone is not enough.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2006): Your gf sounds a bit whacko and I think she is a woman who lacks a lot of self-control, dear and she's being this way because she can and you are letting her do this. You need to know that loving someone should never, ever hurt like this. When a relationship is this dysfunctional and this it usually means one of you cannot conduct a loving, mature relationship, in a healthy way. In this case, your gf is the one who can't give to you and she has some problems..namely a big infidelity problem.
You are feeling the normal feelings that happen when you open your heart to someone and become emotionally close. But it sounds like she was never treated well in her past and she knows no other way to have a relationship with a person. And you are adding to her problems by tolerating her crap. I think you know what you need to do but will you do it? That's a painful decision to make. If I were you, I'd bail out of this and fast. And tell myself, that no woman should ever be allowed to do what she has done to you. No other man would put up with this BS and no other man would hand over his self-respect to a woman who behaves like this. Get away from her. Mourn, grieve, heal recover and get on with life.
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