A
male
age
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*en1043
writes:I am 70 years old, and was married for 38 years when my wife pass away, 2 years after her death, I started going with another lady, we had seven years together before she pass away of ovarian cancer. two years after her death, I met this lady that just broke up with me. she was into a divorce at that time. we been going together for three years when she broke up with me last month. I tried to talk with her three times, then I back out, and wrote this relation off. we use to play dice games every night on our own computers, we had separate homes. because I had a happy marriage and a great relationship with the lady after my wife, I am not unto date on this dating situation, yes I tried to talk with her, but stopped after 3 try. Now she want to continue to play dice on our computer. need some good advise. I am really confuse. HELP
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male
reader, ken1043 +, writes (11 March 2014):
ken1043 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI agree with you and took your advise. I did not attend the meeting last night. The problem I'm having. I started a coffee club 6 years ago. Her father and mother joined it 4 years a go. her mother died 1 year later. I met my girl friend when her parents joined my club. I recruited over 20 members, and we meet every morning at Tim Horton. what I am trying to figure out, do I leave and give up all the friends I recruited, or, do I continue on with this club. Her family including brothers and sister are involved with me in serverall social activities. I have made the decision to give up all social activities with her family. I have never asked her father about her, he alway volunteers information, this put me into a predicament situation. This is what causing me to be like I am. I would be giving up a lot of good friends. You are right, I still love her, but I also realize the age difference would have an impact on her later in her life. After losing two women, within 12 years, it messes up your mind. sometime you need an outside person to laid it on the line. What my plans is to offer her to be friends with me, and not have any romantic feeling. I have a personal problem, so being romantic is out of the question.
thank you for being straightforward put it on the line. I think your give great advise. thank you ken
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2014): Being a good friend of her father, do you really think I believe it is purely a coincidence you're spending time with the father of someone you just broke-up with?
" I have avoided going to all the places we use to hang out. I am a good friend of her father, and this is where I get the info. I am trying to move on, I still love this girl, If i hadn't send her a letter telling her how she hurt me on Feb 14, we would probably still be a couple."
You happen to get information on what she's doing from her father. You are upset about how she hurt you on February 14.
You're still in-love with her. She broke up with you. Therefore she no longer wants to be with you.
I'm not misunderstanding anything. I read carefully, and I read all the subsequent comments any original poster makes.
I also read the fabulous advice of all the other aunts and uncles.
I want to be sure I don't miss details and that my advice is on target.
I'm speaking to a man who is experiencing pain from loss.
You've lost two women in your life; and the third time means once again you are visiting the feeling of loss. You are confused; because grief is a very powerful and confusing emotion. It's not easy being rejected by someone we still care strongly for. I am a man who has had some very significant losses in my life. I know what grief feels like. Trust me.
You say she used you, and confuses you. She dumped you then wants to play video dice. I've stayed on point; because I understand your feelings. I'm trying to help you to get on the track to getting over her.
You claim you don't contact her; but you still happen to know what's going on in her life. You find out by hanging around her father. Please don't insult my intelligence.
The less you know about what she is doing, the more time you stay away from her; the better you can deal with your grief of the breakup.
You are older than I, my friend. This is not the first time in your life you've dealt with this sort of pain. We get through it by facing it head on. Give it all you've got, and let her go. Don't play video dice with her; block her so she can't reach you anymore. She may be playing with your feelings out of spite.
Discontinue contact. Delete her phone number, and if you have to avoid seeing her father to give you time to deal with your feelings, do so. I printed your comments to show you what I'm referring to. You're upset and it's quite understandable. If you ask for help, we're going to be direct and straight-up with you.
I'm very sorry for all your losses.
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female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (10 March 2014):
 Ken, I also remember your other post. If she won't talk to you but wants to play dice then it's clear that it's over and she's a bit bored/ lonely and is reaching out in a very non committal and lazy way. I don't think it means she wants to rekindle things.
For your own well being, I'd suggest you ignore her invitations to play dice. Stopping any interaction will allow you to move on from her. Playing dice will leave you scratching at an open wound.
Since she refused to talk to you three times already, you don't even have to give her a polite explanation. Just ignore her/ block if necessary.
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A
male
reader, ken1043 +, writes (10 March 2014):
ken1043 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI think maybe you are getting the wrong opinion of what I am trying to say. I had two ladies pass away with in seven apart 1. My wife with 38 years and my girlfriend with 7 years I loved them every much. That put a shock to your system. you said maintain your dignity, I am not going to make up any excuses for trying to figure this problem out. I don't use her father for any information, I have never asked him about her, he mentions things she is doing to the guys at our coffee club in the morning. I have been used in this relationship, but I still would like to be friends with her, yes I do love her but she a little to young for me. basically all I want, is to be friends, I am not interested in sex with her any longer. if you will read the first question i wrote, you will understand why I am this way. I did everything for her and she admitted she was spoiled.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2014): Quoting from your other post, you said the following:
"She said when she broke up with me she wanted time and space from me. I don't foresee us getting back together, I have been hurt pretty bad. but I have left the door open. What I don't understand, she will not talk to me about anything. she has basically disappeared,"
Both these post are under the user name ken1043, so I assume you the original poster.
OP, you said she disappeared.
I think most people play video-games anonymously. Playing a video game as an opponent doesn't gives you the right to contact her for any other reason. You can just refuse.
She doesn't want to be your girlfriend; and she doesn't want you to contact her. You can refuse, and play another game with somebody else.
You are 70 years old, my dear sir. Maintain your dignity and make light of such non-sense.
The woman doesn't want to be your girlfriend anymore. That's what this is all about.
Playing a video game with you upsets you obviously, so ignore her and continue to give her the spaced she wants. Playing a video dice game isn't the least bit romantic.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2014): If you feel as though you can be friends with this woman than continue to play the dice game, but if you feel that you cannot be friends then don't play.
It sounds as though she is playing games with you and I think you have to decide whether or not you're happy for her to play games with your heart or whether you have no interest.
If I were in your shoes, I would probably still play the dice game because it was something you were already doing and it can't hurt to have some continuity, but I would not pursue conversation unless she initiated it as she has not spoken on 3 separate occasions.
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