A
male
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*ackalGaz
writes:So heres the deal, ive posted on cupid before regarding the breakup from my ex after nearly 5 yrs and also when she met a new guy (a mate) within 2 weeks of the breakup. 2 months have now gone since all of this started and im feeling like im starting to move on however my 3rd post on cupid was about my ex and her sidekick toying with my emotions by any means they felt was fun. Now it hurt because over that 5 years my ex was never like this (never contacted me to basically call me names one example of their behaviour) and im a very sensitive and caring guy and i feel like ive been analysing their relationship too much which has prevented me from moving on such as "was she seeing this guy before she broke up with me?, and why does she feel the need to hurt me as it was a civil breakup and surely the 5 years meant something to her?"Well enough's enough and i finally took all i could the other night. Im trying to move on and so should they be but they purely just cant stop thinking about me and ways to make me feel down. Ive been trying so hard to rise above it but its getting so serious now that im contacting a solictor for legal advice for harrasment and emotional stress. Would it be harsh to take it to the courts if need be? or does this sound like a phase where my ex is perhaps rebounded or her head is in two minds right now. Her new guy is an idiot im afraid and always has been so i expect that he's influencing some of this (loading the bullets, and she's firing the gun)I have good memorys of her and it has to end as those memorys which lie in the past are being dug up and turned into bad ones. I want her to stop and realise the past has gone, wake up and be thankful that for 5 years we were an item and yer it wasn't meant to be as she actually admitted when we broke up that this would be the case but she's done everything against what she said. So i feel the only way i can prevent affecting my life is to take it to the ultimate level. Thanks for reading and any advice.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (21 December 2006):
 Is there any way for you to put distence and space between yourself and your ex? If so, then completely cut them out of your life. No contact whatsoever.
If this is not possible, and they are purposefully out to hurt you such that it is affecting your ability to fuction, then yes, you can potentially sue for harrassment.
Furthermore, there is no excuse for their behavior. There is no such thing as a "phase" where someone has the right or the perogative to cause pain on you after a break up. I think the fact that you have put up with this kind of abuse this long, might be an indication as to why your relatioship ended. A woman can not maintain attraction for a man, that she loses respect for in that way.
The fact that you are almost apologizing for being willing to finally stand up for yourself is an indication this may have been a source of the problem. I am glad to see you finally stepping up to protect yourself.
BTW, give them no warning that you are seeking legal action, or getting restraining order. If you tell them ahead of time, she might file one against you first, just so the record shows it was her that was trying to seek protection from you. This could work against you, if you end up in court. Say nothing to them, and get a lawyer to file a restraining order, so that you protect your rep.
-Frank B Kermit
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