A
female
age
36-40,
*ewbern
writes:My boyfriend is pissed off I keep telling him I fancy other men. Now. We have got a bit of a history. We've been together 3-4 years but I cheated on him quite a few times but recently I made a vow I'd stay faithful and he forgave me for straying in the past.But this evening we had a chat and after a drink or two, he asked me if I fancied and/or would have sex with certain people and to some I confessed I would - and he got really jealous. The thing is I didn;t mean anything. I just meant I find some men very good looking and 'fanciable', so to speak, the same way a man would say, I dunno, Paris Hilton's sexy, but without any agenda...!His main problem is that he is quite small down there and in 4 years he hasn't made me climax yet. We tried different positions but nothing. My guess is that is contributing to his insecurity and lack of confidence.His 'tool' is perfectly functioning, but he is about 4 inches long and also is very very bendy - which always him feel on the back foot.Shall I be honest and tell him when I fancy other people or simply keep him happy?
View related questions:
confidence, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2009): This is one that is hard to give good or bad advice to.. it's really an opionion matter.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2009): hahah i laugh because i can only imagine the rant that satindesire would go on so i'll save her the trouble and summarize it..
He doesn't need a big penis to satisfy you because in order to climax for most girls, the clitoris must be simulated. So different positions and a huge ding dong will do you no good. Find one where he can play with you while having sex.. such as doggy..
Can you really expect him NOT to be jealous? If you'd never cheated on him and said you thought someone was good-looking, all would probably be well.. but you did.. so by saying that a man is good looking and you'd be willing to have sex with him, it could quite possibly happen. I'd be jealous too! So try to be patient on that matter.. you can't really blame the poor guy.
My suggestion is to keep your eyes to yourself from now on. Notice someone is goodlooking, fine but don't think about it enough that you find yourself fancying him or thinking of sex with him. Save those thoughts for your man. I have a relationship based on honesty, no matter what the result. When he asks you if you fancy someone, i I can't imagine it would be right to lie and just say no.. but certainly don't tell him outright that you do. I suppose if he asks.. but tell him to stop asking! Try to make him understand.. did you use the Paris Hilton thing on him?
Or maybe in your case, you should just lie about it. He's not going to be able to accept that you think someone is goodlooking until he trusts you one hundred percent again. That could take a really long time though.
It's up to you ultimately because tons of peopole would say "be hoesnt" and tons of others will say "keep him blissfully unaware." It comes down to you and him. What would you want from him if it were reversed? what does your morale tell you to do? Would you rather be in a relationship where you were keeping the truth from him to make him happy, or one in which you were being completely honest and hurting his feelings? Which is easier for you both to live with?
~Sy.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2009): ok... i cant say i totally agree with the other poster xxx due to the fact... that you have already decided to make it work... the fact that you are going outside the box to get it is saying something...
I did pick up on something you wrote..."HE hasn't made me climax yet"... Honey men are like driving a car... you get in and you know the directions and go... so if you don't give him exact direction you cant go...can you?
I get where you are coming from.. (having dated a smaller man).. but, this one is on you... this is your body.. and for you to get off.. you have to be the one leading the game.
such as do it this way... easy/harder... give very explisit instructions. Get some toys.. Ima tell ya what.. give that man a toy that yall pick out.. have some wine and let that man go to town.. and you give him all the direction needed.
you should pm me.. i will give you plenty of tips to work this out.. cause the most important key in a relationship is communication.
the second is great sex... (which you cant have without communication)
good luck
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2009): Oh no no.You dont tell him you fancy other people thats really bad on his self confidence.If you arent happy with him sexually and maybe never will be maybe it is time to move on.after all youve cheated a few times already and whos to say it wont happen again? do you want to go through life not sexually satisfied...ever? Im not saying dump him cos he has a small penis but because you arent satisfied sexually at all.
...............................
|
