A
female
age
36-40,
*lublublu
writes:Last weekend I went on a beach vacation with my family and I saw my second cousin who I hadn't seen in a while, who I used to just love with I was a little girl, he's my second cousin he's 40, I'm 20. I've never thought of him sexually before. But I just noticed how he always says "hey gorgeous" or walk up and joking say "you here with anyone?". He doesn't say things like to my sister (who is overweight but very pretty) but I think he jokes around with my a little bit like that with my mom but not nearly as much as he does with me? But the thing is he is one of those really charming guys who you love after five minutes of meeting him. So he might just be joking but all of a sudden I WANT HIM. I can't think of another man whose as charming or who has loved me so much? I know it's wrong but I can't help it. What do you think? BIG NO? or if yes how do I go about getting alone and making a move..
View related questions:
cousin, overweight Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, breky  +, writes (19 August 2008):
m also in the same situation bt our age diff is 5 and his not married his 27 i dont know wat to do also coz we usually mit at family gatherings and find some tym together and makeout but we have neva had sex bt kissing iz a must....his ma second cousin...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008): If you really want him, then go for it. As far as getting him alone, call or write him and tell him how much you enjoyed the beach vacation with him and would like to see him again. But make it just you and him, no family or relatives around. Be sure and kiss him when you see him. Go out and have fun, have a few drinks so you both get relaxed, then just tell him how you really feel, and ask if he would be willing to see you on a regular basis. Tell him you would really like to go out with him regularly and you enjoy his company. When you're out on a date with him, take his arm when you're walking together and stay close to him. Eventually the moment will be right and you'll have an opportunity to put the mvoe on him. I'm sure he'll gladly reciprocate.
There's not anything wrong with it, though you should check the laws in your country and be sure 2nd cousins marrying is legal. U.S. President Theodore and his wife Eleanor Roosevelt were cousins and married. So if you want to sleep with this older second cousin, that's your and his business, and nobody else's. Do what you want and enjoy your life, live in the moment while you still can, before you get older, so that you don't look back and wish that you had pursued things with him.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2008): Ok - nothing illegal - or immoral for that matter.
20 year age gap. That's a big gap. He's twice your age. He possibly sees you more as a lovestruck teenager than a potential partner, but that isn't to say he doesn't fancy you because he probably does, and if you show him some affection he'll more than likely be quite flattered and give in if a spot of nookie is handed to him on a plate.
The thing is though, ask yourself how things would pan out if you did have some sort of relationship with him. You have to imagine the scenario where you've had wild sex together, then later on the relationship turns sour. How would the whole family handle that? Would they take sides? Would you (or he) be ostracised? Would he be looked upon as a cradle-snatcher? A heart-breaker?
Then again, maybe he'd laugh off any advances you made towards him.
All in all, I'd say it's not the best of ideas, but stranger things have happened at sea . . .
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2008): Twenty years age diffrence is too big for a relationship and also the fact your family may be against it. But if you want just a one night stand then fine, go ahead.
...............................
A
female
reader, oldeyes  +, writes (16 June 2008):
Hey girl, I'm 25 and I would recommend that you do not follow your desires. I know it sounds hard but if you think about it there are many consequences to persuing this man than someone closer to your age and not related. I know that you should be free to love any man and really it is up to you but lemme just say one consequence that is a bit more rare. What if he is just a flirt and doesn't really want you? I know men who are flirty, even making sexual jokes but they will not act on them even if they sound serious. They can also embarass you badly. I would say go ahead and try it but think of the consequences. I know you are old enough to think rationally at times and I am guessing you are very wise to ask advice first. I know that when I am attracted to someone I may feel an overwhelming urge to be with them. It sounds like you are a very sexually driven lady, which is great!!! But please please this man is 40 and he knows what he is doing and likely he just wants to have sex with you. Is he married? Because there are some other possible consequences to think about. please please just think about this. I have made mistakes in my life I wish I could take back and I can't so I hope you just think about this really hard. Trust yourself to make the right decision but also lemme tell ya, at 20 I was not prepared to deal with the consequences for your senerio. I probably would have slept with him but now, thinking about things I have learned from, I would say no. Esp since he is part of the family. hope that helps. take care!
...............................
|
