A
female
age
30-35,
*winn
writes:Hey everyone. So my boyfriend and I have been together for 13 months and our sex life is like non existent compared to how it used to be. For the first 6 or so months, we had sex literally like 4 or 5 times everyday, it was great. But for the past few months, we barely have sex now because he cant last for more than like 20 seconds, EVERY TIME. Its like not even fun anymore for both of us, cuz we dont even to get to like actually enjoy it. He doesnt understand why its like that, and i can tell he gets really down about it and i feel bad. Weve done just about anything we could think of... Weve tried him pulling out when he comes, too just keep doing it again... Hes even wore a condom( which we have never used our entire relationship) and its still doest work. Its honestly been MONTHS, since ive ACTUALLY had sex. Does anyone have any ideas or whats going on?!Thank you
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor +, writes (23 September 2012):
 I think he's a bit bored- and he's lacking a bit of excitement. In the beginning things were new. You entered into his life and he was happy and excited. And in the bedroom he may have showed you just how happy he was. But now things are slowing down a bit... so it may be best for you to spice things back up. My advice to you is to do something to turn him on. Dress up (or down) for him. Set the mood for him with food and a bubble bath- or in the bedroom with candles, rose peddles, or slow music. And also talk with him and ask him about his fantasies. You can either be spontaneous and act on a fantasy... or set up a time together on when you'll fulfill it. If you set it up on say a Friday, you can name it Fantasy Friday or something. That would give him something to look forward to throughout the day/week. I don't think the 20 seconds that he tend to last in the bed now is a sign of ED (Erectile Dysfunction). I think it may be more of a mental thing than anything else. In the bed, talk dirty to him (if he likes that sort of thing), tell him how much you love him, etc. Increase his confidence. Now if it is ED, he should see a medical professional regarding that. They may be able to give him tips and advice on the best way for him to overcome that. (For my tips on ED check here: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/guys-what-to-do-if-youre-suffering-from.html )And lastly, you should consider seeing a sex therapist if all else fails. Now be sure also to let him know your desires and interests. It should not be a one-way street. Communicate and make your sex life better. And keep in mind things can always get better. Always remember that. Best wishes to you!
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