A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Sex is painful for me. I've been to the doctor, and she can't find anything wrong with me, although it was very painful when she put anything inside me. She said it's probably all in my head. I don't think anybody gets how frustrating hearing that is. There has to be a solution to relaxing my vagina. I am way too tight. I used to do kegal excercises, but what can I do that's the opposite of this? That will loosen me during sex? I can't even put a tampon inside me without pain. I find it really hard to believe that this is all in my head, but at the same time it was hugely stressful for me to get a physical done by a doctor, so I don't want to seek a second opinion.
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tampon, too tight, vagina Reply to this Question
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male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (1 December 2009):
 See, if you take sex as a pleasure, and not as to have child, then foreplay itself is a perfect sexual activity. There is no necessity for vaginal penetration. Penetration end with ejaculation and ejaculation is not pleasure, or even desired goal or even orgasm. Orgasm is interpreted as last high point of pleasure, and if it is last highest point of pleasure, then it is not necessary to fall down from desired height through ejaculation.Just observe, the said alchemy or semen is pleasurable and continued to be pleasurable at all time, unless it is thrown out from the body through ejaculation. Non-ejaculative sexual activity is most precarious thing, deserve careful attention and also meditation. This method will give so much to its followers, never before thought or dream...just try it....everything good thing will follow, if you follow non-ejaculative sex-act.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you Tisha-1, that was very helpful. The doctor did say that she would recommend me to a sex therapist, but she hasn't got back to me yet with that information and it's veen over a month. She also had tests done, but I assume they're clean since she never called me and she said she would if there were problems. My fiance used to go to one himself, so he should be able to help me with that, plus the costs of it is covered under his insurance.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (17 September 2009):
 Your doctor sounds dreadful. "It's all in your head." I think you do need to find another doctor, ASAP. And do some research on "vaginismus"--I don't know if this is your issue, but the fact you sound so fearful about seeing a doctor suggests you do have a fear of being hurt. Perhaps a sex therapist would be a better choice? Someone who has credentials and is sensitive to situations like yours.
I don't have the answer, obviously, but here is a start on your research. It sounds as though the practice of stretching the vagina through increasing sized dilators is a common method of reducing the pain. Getting used to penetration physically. If it is a fear of being hurt, then you do need to find out what the root of that fear is, and that sounds like the role of a psychiatrist or psychologist.
http://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/understanding-female-sexual-problems-treatment
http://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/guide/female-pain-during-sex
http://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/mental-health-female-sexual-problems
Good luck. Don't be afraid to change doctors and find the one that understands you and your issues surrounding being examined.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe've tried KY Jelly, but it doesn't do much for me. We use another lube (water-based "Wet Light Intimacy Liquid") that has helped quite a bit and was the only lube that worked in initial penetration several months ago when I was a virgin.
We do try to have foreplay, but I find that the kind of foreplay I require where I think I'm loose enough to take penetration without too much pain is after an 2 hours or more of foreplay. It's not exactly practical.
I've been thinking lately about taking muscle relaxer supplements like "Serene", I'm just not sure if it'll help my current situation or not.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2009): Try K-Y Jelly. It is for vaginal dryness.
The other suggestion is to make sure you have enough foreplay to get the juices flowing prior to penetration.
Good luck!
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