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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been with my partner for nearly two years now. Sex was great in the beginning but faded out quickly. We now have a ten month old baby, but I can't bring myself to sleep with my partner anymore. I know I love him and couldn't be without him, but my sex drive has gone. Anyone got any ideas of how I can spice things back up? I don't want to lose him.Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2005): after the birth of my daughter i had the same problem. i loved my partner dearly, but i just had no interest in sex. even when he tried i just couldnt get aroused and i felt horrible as i knew it hurt him badly.
in the end i spoke with a doctor who pointed out to me that often loss of libido has nothing to do with how attracted you are to your partner, but how attractive you feel about yourself. i realised that i wasnt feeling sext at all and went about changing this. i didnt lose 20 kilos, or attack the credit card with new clothes, i just started to do things that made me feel better. i joined a coffee group and met new people, took up a hobby and began to eat healthier. in turn i had more energy, slept better, had far more self esteem and my self image improved tenfold! now i want to have sex with my man because i feel comfortable and desirable and when im with him i feel that he wants me.
its worth a shot!
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