A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay I'm beginning to have a serious dilemma.. I've been exclusively with this girl (not officially dating, but basically) for about 8 months now and things have been going great. I started college in the fall and she just happened to be moving roughly an hour away from my school and everything has been going just perfect really. That is until last weekend.. It was my 19th birthday and I was at a friends apartment partying and drinking, there were only four of us and it left me and her other friend to be the only single ones there. This isn't usually a problem for me as I can push women away when I want, but ever since I first saw this girl about a year ago I've wanted to, stating bluntly, have sex with her. I know sounds shallow but at this party she was dropping mad hints and I was pretty intoxicated so I went with it and we ended up hooking up right up until we were about to have sex and it was interrupted. The problem is I just haven't been able to get it out of my head about the unfortunate timing, but also I feel a little bad about this girl I've been seeing regularly. She told me before that if I slept with someone else she just didn't want to know about it, and since I didn't I don't feel that bad but I'm slightly worried it's going to change my perspective on her and I really don't want that. What should I do?? :( Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (15 November 2011):
 Change your perspective on her how?
she told you she didnt' want to know
you are not exclusive and serious as far as I can tell (tell me if I'm wrong)
so... no harm no foul
but using alcohol as the excuse is WRONG... just say NO is the right thing to do...
A
female
reader, Sarada +, writes (15 November 2011):
 Your just making a fool out of yourself! Okay, i know you're sex addict but that does not mean you've to explain everything to your girlfriend.May be she is special to you but what you do with other girls you shouldn't inform her about it.I agree that you being a man can't control your sex urge so don't tell her if you do you'll lose her love.Just give her all the attention.And have soulful sex with her and treat her well if you really love her:) and keep a smile on her face don't let that disappear!
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (15 November 2011):
 Dating as in not officially boyfriend/girlfriend?? Did you two agree upon being exclusive???
I'm going to go with you two aren't defined seeing as she doesn't want to know if you've slept with anyone else. I don't blame her.
If you two aren't official or exclusively seeing each other, then there's no need to tell her. You can date or sleep with whomever else you please. She's not your girlfriend, you didn't cheat.
Do you find yourself doubting the girl you're seeing? Was this girl you slept with just a one night stand or do you want more? If so, maybe you should cut the girl you're seeing loose.
I think you're feeling a little guilty. Give it some time with the girl you're dating, focus on her, then see if you want to make if official or not.
DISCLAIMER: Don't use alcohol as an excuse to have sex. No one buys that story. Just saying.
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