A
male
age
30-35,
*anhar
writes:please help me, i am in big trouble... :(:(i am in love with a girl, she is 19yr old. we are in a relationship for a last 1 year. we had also marry with each other without telling anyone. now the twist is that the girl is my cousin. she is my grandmother's sister daughter. and her's family thinking is of old kind. they does not let the girl out of the home to anywhere exept for colloge for only 2 hours. So many strickness is there in her home by her parents. she is just fade up from her home and from her parents. she is living in this world only because of me!! now the problems is that suddenly my father came to know about my relationship with that girl, and when they confirmed from some sources, they immediately called the girl's home to her mother and told everything. her parents became so angry that they decided to marry thier daughter to someone else. they also tease her, the girl's father beat her so much, her mother slapped contiuosly to her and also used very foul languages. they had locked her in home, she can not go out now, not even to college. She was doing company secretary course, her father just rolled up her name from the list of the institue. her stuies are not more carry on and also her parents are thinking to marry her in next month to another guy. if in case it happened, she will suicide herself because she cant live without me.now my parents understood me, and they are fully with me and are ready to get me marry with her. but if my father talk about this with the girl's father, then the girl's father and her brother will shot her down to death and also me. they will kill us. my father is saying me again and again that "dont worry son, her parents will not do anything like this, they will now marry her to anyone, just saty relax and wait for her parents to cool down"but i konw her parents. they are diffrent in front of my father and different in front of their daughter.every morning thay are just forcing the girl to marry to the boy to which they are saying otherwise they will kill me, they are blackmailing her.her mobile phone has beed crushed by her father, there is now way to her to run from his home. she is locked between the 4 wall!!please help me :'( :'(what i do :'(i cant live without her, i cant because i love her more than my life, i love her more than anyone in this world...please reply what i do now. . . . . . . . . . . .
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cousin, crush, grandmother Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2011): ahh sorry,I acidentally posted my question instead of an answer,I'm sure I clicked on ask-I didn't realize I was still on this question-sorry.
but anyway,I would definately approach the police if you have a marriage certificate and everything-but don't tell anyone you are going to do it and if you are too scared to go to the police or if it wouldn't help,then try and find a community group who could help-like the other poster said-I'm so sorry to hear about your situation.
A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (23 January 2011):
 i know you speak the truth as I know these things do happen in your country. Did you legally marry her? Or only in your hearts. If you legally married her then you should have a government paper to prove this is so.
Was she of legal age to marry? If not of legal age your marriage could be invalid.
I know too that the Police in your country may not help you, as although they are trying to stamp out these practices, there are community problems. As often the community is not willing to help.
Find a community group that actively tries to help girls in this same situation.
If you have that official Government paper to legally prove she is your wife then just go to the police.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2011): I don't normally advocate this, but you two need to get together and just run as far away from all of this as you possibly can. Go to an area where you can live your lives peacefully. Go to a Western country if you have to.
Arranged marriages are wrong, and rightfully, in almost all countries are no longer practiced.
You are legal adults now, and there is nothing either of your families can do if you choose to elope.
Flynn 24
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2011): Omg I'm sooo sorry to hear this happened to u guys. I am middle eastern and my parents were also strict and didn't want me to marry my boyfriend so I also went through a lot. Your father is right let her parents cool off before u do take any step further. I think it would be wise to have your father maybe speak to her parents I don't see why they would get mad just don't tell them everything about u guys. Let your father prove why u would be a good man for there daughter and then maybe they will change they're mind. Trust me father was sooo angry and then when he did cool off my boyfriends parents came and spoke to mines and then finaly they agreed and now we've been married for 10 yrs w/2 kids. Make sure u pray a lot that helps. I realy hope this works out for u guys. Pleas keep us updated on what happens.
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