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anonymous
writes: ive been seeing a guy on/off for about 4 years now. we were instantly attracted the day we met 6 yrs ago at work and that day he asked me out but i said no. We have both been in relationships whilst being involved with each other, sometimes physically but mainly emotionally. we would phone and text each other daily. For the past year we have been unofficially seeing each other, he says he is not ready for a relationship with anyone right now but constantly reassures me he cares for me and has strong feelings for me as I do him. We both dont want to loose eac hother as we have grown so close we regard each other as best friends. To add to the complication he says he doesnt like kissing, i know he has done so with his gfs but he wont kiss me. This and the non commitment causes arguements and sometimes either one of us calls it a day saying we should just be platonic friends, every time we end up in the same situation. Is this guy stringing me along? why wont he kiss me? should i stop reading too much into this and not needing a label on our relationship?
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female
reader, love curer  +, writes (25 February 2009):
WAKE UP, Please, this man is USING you as a bed buddy. You MUST MUST MUST leave him and take what little self esteem you have with you. Re-invent yourself and you will attract a man, who will love and respect you and want to commit to you and kiss you on the lips and you will know exactly what a GOOD relationship feels like.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2007): Hi, I've met guys the same. I really don't understand what's going through their heads, (maybe nothing) but
here's what you should do.
Sounds like he broke up with someone else and he's having trouble starting a new relationship. He knows that you like him already.. so best thing to do is play it cool. Be his
best best friend, but let him know that you're just his friend. Also, try not to call him too much, let him call you. Let him know how much you are enjoying yourself on your own and with your friends, (show off if you want to, dress up a little who knows). But don't try to hard to be with him, you'll just waist your time and push him away. When he sees how great and independent you are, he will come around! If he doesn't, you'll still be happy and enjoying your life on your own, and you'll be able to move on.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2006): The situation you describe sounds emotionally draining and unfair (to you). It sounds as though you want him to commit to you and put an end to this ambiguous relationship you describe. It must be very difficult to think he may not be part of your life but if he is unable to give you what you want it's not fair to you so perhaps it is time that you talk to him, tell him exactly what you want and if he can't provide that then you have to move on and fine someone that can.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2005): i've been with a guy fro four months and facing the very same thing. We are together alot, he calls me babe, recognisees anniversaries, and calls himself my bf and me his gf. We used to make out and kiss al lthe time. Even at stop signs in teh car! haahaa. but he's stopped kissing me hello and goodbye alltogether! i feel strung along for sure. i could imagine how u feel. it's a little rejecting and almost kills the impulse to get intimate totally. the response you've already gotten is a gooder. you can't get a label really on a relationship. it just is or isn't serious. and either is obvious. that hard part is taht this tells us it's not and that's not what we want.
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reader, becky05 +, writes (18 July 2005):
Yes hes stringing you along.
he wont kiss you because, then, that may make you think that youre involved with him when youre not.
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