A
female
age
41-50,
QuirkLady
writes:This story is my experiences as a same-sex rape victim.Female on female rape statistics are very hard to find. The overwhelming number of rapists are men, and so most rape and sexual assault information on the internet is geared to the victim of male on female rape. But there are those of us out there who have been victims of a crime that most people think doesn't exist.I was raped by a so-called friend at the age of 14. At the time I didn't realize it was rape; I wasn't thinking straight and didn't understand what the hell had happened to me. It wasn't until years later that I was able to talk about it with a therapist and admit what happened. In the meantime, I experienced a lot of pain and shaming from my friends and family members. I heard just about every variation of minimizing and disrespect that you could possibly hear:"It wasn't rape. Only a man can rape a woman. She was just pushy and experimenting, that's all.""It wasn't rape. Get over it.""You were getting freaky, that's hot, can I hear more about it?""So, you're gay?""I heard she had tendencies, why didn't you stay away from her?"No one believed me. Because of the dismissals I did not report what happened to me to the police. I wish now I could go back in time and change that. The rape changed my life...I stopped feeling comfortable around women. I changed the way I dressed, walked, and spoke because I didn't want to attract female attention. I pushed the memory down as far as I could and couldn't speak about it for years, even in therapy. I still suffer from anxiety and have a hard time trusting anyone.Even though now there is more support available for same sex rape victims, I still feel alone. I still feel ashamed sometimes even though I know I didn't do anything wrong. My rapist is still walking around free. But I'm still here, and I'm surviving.That's my story. Thanks for reading.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): Wow. I cant believe I had never heard or considered this as even a possibility. My heart goes out to you both! Xx
A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (26 June 2009):
QuirkLady is verified as being by the original poster of the question Dear anonymous,
Please don't think of yourself as a coward. It was very brave of you to tell your story and I thank you for sharing, and for your kind words of support.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2009): Wow i just read your article and you are so brave! I had never heard of same sex rape before now. I was raped a few years ago by a man i thought i trusted and i take courage from your story and the fact that your surviving! I am a coward because ive remained anonymous. I think a lot of people who have been raped and those by the same sex will be put at ease knowing how strong you are and no they are not alone. Thank you
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