A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hoping some of the amazing agony aunts can help me out here. I dated a guy I really liked about a year ago. He ended it abruptly because a mutual person we both know talked unkindly about me..he related a bit of this to me. We were just establishing a friendship again when again I had issues with her...we are on a committee together and the last time we had a meeting she was rude to me...he looked sheepish and you could tell he was not impressed with her behavior. I have gone out of my way NOT to say anything rude about her but I can tell he finds her a bit much at times as well....yet at the same time defends her. She still lives at home in thirties and cannot drive to health issues and he tells me to be understanding of this. Part of me wants to tell him my side of the story but feel that the greater dignity and maturity would be in saying nothing. If he prefers her over me..then let them both be and cut contact. I am more wordly and independent and that may be why he is more comfortable with her. He also has her monitor my comings and goings and I can tell he has confided in her about me...like a couple of kids..these two. Should I relate my side of the story or ignore both of them. Thank you for all answers.
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (24 February 2008):
 Since he ended it without asking or confirming what he heard from you , it is pointless to tell him when he did not solicit your opinions.
If he is a fair minded person , he would have told you what he heard and seek the truth from you.
You have been judged and sentence has been passed without your defense being called.
I think that is not a fair decision but you need to know it was not a fair court and a good judge sitting in it.
The best decision is to let sleeping dogs lie......move on.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (24 February 2008):
 It seems to me that you're dealing with some high school type behavior.
Hmmm, if it were me in your shoes, I'd wave brightly to her as she monitors your comings and goings, continue on in the meetings as if they were just any other member of the committee. And ignore them beyond that.
They have some link that you won't be able to understand, and honestly, it's not worth your time to worry about...
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