A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I've been with my boyfriend for four years, we both live at home, I live with my mum, he lives with his mum and dad. I’m 21 and he’s 26. He shares a room with his younger brother, so there is no privacy for us to spend time together. I live with my mum; my brother has left home a long time ago before I even met my boyfriend and I have my own room. my boyfriend and I spend most of our time at my mum’s house because we don’t have anywhere else to chill out, however my mum is constantly nagging at me that we need to get our own place and stop living off of her, she doesn’t like my boyfriend coming round very much. She’s the type of person that likes her own space. I do pay rent at home to help my mum out so I’m not completely living off of her, but she pays the bills, buys the food etc. now here is the problem, I would happily move in with my bf , I feel were ready to take that next step, I love spending time with him and he does with me too - but he doesn’t want to move out, he keeps telling me he is not ready. We both work so we can afford to move out I don’t see what his problem is. Giving our situation I don’t really feel we have a choice. He’s comfortable at home because he doesn’t have to pay anything towards household cost and his parents aren’t pressuring him to move out. I feel like I’m in such a dilemma, my mum keeps saying that if I don’t do something about it then she will. She says she will have words with my bf but I feel like she is trying to build a rift between us and our relationship is at make or break. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyeah I agree with both of you, he is a mummmys boy and hasnt really grown up yet, ive tried the smooth talking him round and telling him that things will still be like living at home, but he hasnt really taken it on board. i will try to talk to his mum and see what she thinks about the whole idea, like you said all i can do is try. Thanks for the tips!
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (26 August 2010):
 26 and not moved out yet? I moved out at 19. Of course he doesn't want to move out when his mommy does his laundry, cooks his meals, no bills, and you can spend your money on anything you want. I agree he does need to grow up and learn some responsibility and see what the real world is like. When you move out, the biggest thing is all the bills..cable, internet, car payments, car insurance, cell phones, rent, utilities, groceries, and if either of you have any loans your paying on how much it all costs is ridiculous. But he can't live under mommy and daddy's house forever. Start looking for apartments, show him some potential complexes you're interested in with decent rent, let him know he'll get a nice home cooked meal every night, that you will take care of all the laundry, and you can even get a puppy! He wouldn't have to lift a finger, except for maybe to take out the trash, and it would be just like living at home except you two will have your own home. Point out the perks, and see what he says after that. You or your mother can't make him move out, the only one that can do that is his parents or him. Or just had another thought, you can have a chat with his parents that you would really like for you two to live together and don't they think it's about time he get out of his own? See if they will help you convince him to move out. Trying is all you can do.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2010): Sounds like you've got yourself a mummy's boy.
Most fella's would jump to at the chance to move in with their gf of 4 years. Not to be rude, but sex pretty much any time they wanted it? Sounds like he hasn't grown up yet if you both can afford it.
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