A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I feel really depressed about this much older man! I first met him when i was 21, and he was 41. That was five years ago. We met in a club that he goes in regularly. I used to go in every weekend for a couple of years, but in the last few years, i have only been in every so often. When we first met, i went in the club with my family, and he always used to come over and sit with us towards the end of the night. He has always seemed interested in me everytime i have seen him. However, i ended up hearing that he had a bad past, as i guess some people do. He drinks a lot, and he has done some stupid things. Well, in my opinion they are anyway. He has said himself that he thinks the things he used to do are stupid, and he said he thought i was the one who could calm him down. We went on a few dates during the first year that we met, but one of my family members went mad about it. He told some more of my family members that i shouldnt have been hanging around with this older man, because of how he was. I was annoyed, as i didnt think it was any of his business who i liked or hung around with. This older man said that other men in the club had been making nasty comments as well when they saw us together. This man also got jealous whenever he saw men that were closer to my age chatting me up, and he used to watch me as i was dancing on the dance floor and he was sat down. He has said that the thinks alot of me but is worried about the age gap and the comments some people made. He also introduced me to his parents and one of his brothers and his brother's wife. His family told him that they thought i was a lovely girl. I also went in the club with my dad a few months ago, which was the last time i went in, and he said he wanted me to introduce him to my dad, so i did and he came and sat with us. I dont go in the club as often now as my family rarely go in,and i dont have many friends that i can go in with. I wouldnt want him to think that i have lost interest because i hardly go in there any more. I still care about him a lot, but i have also dated other guys within the last few years. He doesnt know that though. I like him because he is confident, has a good sense of humour, and i guess the fact that he is more exerienced attracts me too. He is quite good looking, but appearances dont matter too much to me. He also made a comment a couple of times saying, " if i'm with you, i'm with you and you only ". I'm not sure what he meant by that, but i guess he was referring to what he used to do as well, and that if he was with me, he wouldnt do it, although, i dont know if he still does the thigns he used to do or not, and i dont know how he feels about me or what he wants. He has said i am gorgeous though, but why has he not pursued a relationship with me further, or is it my fault because i havent been going in the club as much ?. I guess he could call me to arrange a date though. He had my mobile phone number years ago, but it's changed now. I got thinking about him again because a family member of mine said today that he is going away with some of the other members of the club for a holiday to another part of the U.K. She had heard about it because another member of the family had heard he was going and told her. What worries me is i heard he got up to some of the things he used to do in this part of the U.K that they are going to when he was younger. I know it might not necessarily mean that he will now, but i thought, since i haven't seen him for a long time, maybe he will? I keep wondering if he would have invited me to go with him if i had seen him recently, but i dont know if he would have anyway, especially as one of the people that is going is my family member who used to go mad at me hanging around with him. It's so hard having these feelings for him but nothing is coming from it, and i just wish i knew what he thinks of me, it's kind of confusing. Has anyone else here ever been in a situation like this, and can you help?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2010): I'd also like to add that he always winks at me when he sees me, and i am the only person that he does this to. Does that mean anything ?.
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