A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:There is one particular ex my GF has that for whatever reason, more than her others, rubs me the wrong way. I don't like this guy one bit. However, he was her first boyfriend, and stopped dating I think at 16 years old.We are 22 now, but she is still friendly with him. Over the years they have hooked up once in a while between boyfriends. She told me that when she was getting over him (at 16) she cut herself. She also said that she thinks she liked him all through HS even though she had other boyfriends.She has told me repeatedly that she has never slept with him. However, one day while she was in the shower I saw her journal on her desk and foolish me picked it up and glanced at it.I found out that while on a break with her BF (two years ago), this guy told her he was trying to seduce her and wanted to have sex with her. One night he came over and there are things in there that make me think they had sex.things like:"i was freaking out i have never done anything with anyone other than (current bf).""he is really good at some things (current BF) is not""but then umm he had trouble and likes weird things but after a while i got comfortable""when he left he kissed me goodbye and said if there is a next time it will be better""he is weird but now i know what really being with him entails"what do you think? did she sleep with this guy?it is killing me. she said she never has but after reading this i don't believe it. i am dying to know the truth. she knows how much i dislike him so it is reasonable that she would lie to me about this.how can i possibly approach her on this without revealing i read her journal???thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionmiss potter, i agree a completely non-lying person is a rare thing.
BUT, she has never been tactful in telling me about her past. always going into little details that i don't need that paint big pictures. so it's not like she is the type of person to not talk about the past.
i have asked her specifically if she has slept with this person, saying just tell me the truth i don't care just be honest, and she has repeatedly said she has not.
maybe she didn't, but this journal entry certainly makes it seem like she did.
A
female
reader, Miss Potter  +, writes (23 October 2008):
 Oh guys common - she shouldnt ever lie, EVER! What kind of saint, impossibly perfect person would that be eh???
She slept with him, so what?
I think if she doesnt wanna talk about it its her right, after all there are some people that hold this as a basic rule in their relationship - not to tell the present partner of previous relationships. And with some partners I believe its the best way to handle things, as they are rubbish at getting past the history!
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A
male
reader, benefattore +, writes (22 October 2008):
 She shouldn't lie. Ever.
If she slept with him in the PAST, she should have no problem admitting it to you.
If she lied about being a virgin and/or who she's slept with, that is wrong.
The only reason why these females who respond say its none of your business is because they're probably just like your girlfriend (liars about their sexual partners).
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2008): I dont think you should approach her about this, afterall you read her journal. In my opinion it does sound like something happened, but that doesnt mean she slept with him. If it did happen, maybe her reasons for telling you are because she knows it would upset you? Maybe its not the best thing for her to do, but it may have been to stop you from becoming jealous or worried?
So you need to ask yourself, what would finding out this information achieve? Would it really u make you feel better? Everybody has a past you know, and you need to learn to deal with the fact she has one. Its hard, I know, but your lack of trust could really put a strain on things between you both if you cant get past it.
I wish you the best of luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni know they didn't have sex while they were dating, as she lost her virginity to a later boyfriend. BUT, I do know she gave this guy (at least) one hand job when she was 15 and they've done 'more than kissing' in other hook ups.
and i can't do a joke thing, anonymous, cause she has since moved and the journal is hidden (though i know where it is).
but does anyone think, based on the quotes from it that i gave, that she slept with this guy??
her past does bother me from time to time, but this particular incident is what gets at me the most.
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A
female
reader, Miss Potter +, writes (22 October 2008):
Even if she slept with him it doesnt matter now does it?
If she lied to you about it, then she most probably didn't want to hurt your feelings. And if you keep on badgering her about this she might end up telling you more lies which is going to be uncomfortable for both of you.
And you shouldn't have read her journal, but I do sneak around my boyfriends things sometimes too...hehehe.
So just try to let it go, they probably did have sex, even if it wasnt the full on sex, they were gf and bf for a while, so I assume theyve seen each other naked and done other things like oral and stuff.
Try not to dwell on this too much. Past is gone, she is with you now and don't push her in situations where she will have to lie to you.
Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2008): Do a little play like thing, when shes around grab the journal and joke around with her start reading what you read and it should go from there ;P
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