A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, i'm in college, a junior, and a guy recently let me know that he was interested in me. i, on the other hand, am not. i don't like him very much, as a person and also physically.he's very arrogant and obnoxious and comes off very pretentious. i really don't like how pushy he is and i've told him so. i'm more into quiet guys. and there is a guy in one of my classes with whom i've been getting close and he's also told me that he has feelings for me. so, i told the first guy that i wasn't interested and tried to do so tactfully bc i hate it when ppl get rude and insulting whilst turning someone down. and he looked shocked.he asked me why i wasn't interested and simply told him he wasn't my type, and our personalitites didn't match. but he still wasn't convinced. he then proceeded to tell me that plenty of girls would love to be with him, bc he's tall and works out a lot. and that's another issue with me. i'm not into bulk and muscle. i like a lanky guy. all the muscle isn't attractive to me at all. and when i told him his physique wasn't my cup of tea, and that it shouldn't matter much (even though, it does to me some) he got pissed, as though i were SUPPOSED TO love it.Why do guys work out so much? why do they want all that muscle? i mean, to each his own, but to me it's...ugly. i believe a man can be manly without looking like The Hulk. it isn't just about the appearance itself but also the attitude and the way one carries himself. and this guy was just shocked and annoyed that i wasn't into his body as soooo many others girls are...but now...it seems like my little confession just made him double his efforts. he's even more pushy than before. and that pisses me off. i don't know how to tell him to back off anymore. i've told the guy i'm getting close to and he told me to just ignore it and sooner or later he'll get the message. but i don't think he will.advice?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2012): I can't stand men like this. I know EXACTLY what you're talking about as I've been through it a lot. I figured out there is no point in trying to convince them they are nothing special, because it just falls on deaf ears. They assumed I was just "making them work for it", and tried even harder.
Anyway, just keep ignoring him. Maybe try and make a friend who has a lot of your same classes so you can always have someone to walk with between classes. That will make it more difficult for him to approach you. If that doesn't work, then file a harassment complaint.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (2 October 2012):
 I agree ignore him. Honey you do NOT owe the creep anything, not even an explanation as to WHY you aren't interested.
And I agree with C. Grant. Next time he approaches you tell him, Enough is enough. You are NOT interested and you are NOT playing hard to get, so if he can't leave you alone you will file a harassment complaint. Hopefully THAT will get through his thick skull.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant +, writes (2 October 2012):
 Bless you for trying to keep things polite and civil. Unfortunately there is a sub-species of men who are certain that they are God's gift to women; any woman who doesn't swoon is clearly deluded, and it's his mission to help you see the light reflecting from his biceps.
These guys don't take hints or polite refusals. At this point what he needs is blunt. "I am not interested. Period. If you make any further attempts to contact me I will file a harrassment complaint with the college."
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 October 2012):
 I don't care for muscles either... i like a bit of smoosh on my guy...
but what's NOT appealing to you truly is this guys personality.. he's arrogant and obnoxious and full of himself.
You should continue to IGNORE the other guy... and if he continues you can look at him and say "are you really wanting me to file harassment charges against you? Because if you do NOT stop harassing me I will have to report it to the authorities because your making me fearful for my safety"
very calmly.. not threatening.. very matter of fact statements...
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