A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my current bf for 3 years and I think the only time we have problems is when his mom gets involed. My daughter and I moved in with him about six months ago and live in a house she has bought for him. He is a fulltime student at a local University and does not pay rent. The deal is while he is in school he does not have to pay rent. But starting this month I have to pay rent. I have been asking him for months how does she want me to pay rent? Over and over. I was a single mom that has put myself through nursing school. I have lived on my own for 7 years. I didn't like the set up but we hated the back and forth. So his mom sends him a email. And let me tell you a day ago I had to pay a lawyer and processing fees. He told me not to worry about anything. I wake up to "I guess you don't have the rent money?" I said no but I could get it. He walks out of the room. Then says he didn't hear me and had to load his car. It made me feel awful. So I knew it had to have something to do with his mother. Sure enough he tells me that she sent him an email asking him. What should I do? Should I take it for what it is and leave now, and not invest anything else in it? I love him and he loves me but I didn't like the tone he got with me knowing my situation. And also that I had been trying to pay her and she has brushed it off. Any advise.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2009): Thank you for your support! :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2009): Honey, the HUGE difference is you're not married to him. You are a live-in girlfriend. In most live-in situations, you each pay half. His mom is paying his 1/2, and wow, very generous, but his mom doesn't owe you anything. In fact, some parents wouldn't let a 'girlfriend' live in their home without some sort of verbal contract. I'm Sorry, but my pride would kick in and I would pay just to show I'm a responsible adult and don't need their charity. You should be proud of yourself for all you've done to obtain a great career + taking care of a child! In a way, you're more of a woman than your boyfriend is a man, because he's getting the silver spoon and you've 'made it' with your own inner strength. Your boyfriend is lucky to have a woman like you!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2009): Also I have discussed it with him and he says he didn't hear me. I know he is lieing. I am still not talking to him and he now says he will split the rent with me. His brother was smarter than him and the house she bought him is in both of their names. Mine wasn't as bright...he says it was because of like $6,000 he owes to creditors. I am beginning to think his mom likes this control.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2009): Mom pays him a monthly allowance and all school costs. We are suppose to split the bills. Right now mom is out on a six month vacation on her 2 million dallor yacht. I don't mind paying rent. I actually prefer it....just don't like the tone he got with me about it. I don't want to change him...just have him respect me and have my back. What next? And thanks for replying....was beginning to think no one would. Am I being silly?
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