A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I would like advice on this work problem. Thanks in advanced for reading through it all.I'm having a problem with a coworker. The background- I work at a small, very small, food store. We only have 4 employees total including the manager. I have been there for 3+ years now and am the best sales person in the store, no cockiness as I am not good at sales really, I just offer the upgrades on a consistent basis and always have the best numbers in the store. Anyway, an employee was hired back in September of '11, making the store 4 total. Since the store is so small we become close. Well the new employee and I got to talking one day a few months ago. He was a lot of fun to talk to and he chatted about relationships and how he hasn't been in one for 6 years and is lonely, we talked mostly about work and the other 2 employees. We would even text sometimes. I have a husband and was in no way attracted to him so it didn't turn into anything, I felt bad not texting him back though since he was admittedly lonely. Anyway this went on for about a month and during one conversation he told me (I'll refer to him as B) my manager said I was the worst sales person we have. I have worked with my manager for the full 3+ years and I like him so what he said stung a little. I got over it pretty quickly, as I said before I am not a good sales person because I'm not overly friendly, I just somehow do the best. Plus it's a small place and in a retail environment everyone talks about everyone. I have talked about my manager as well so how mad can I really get? Well since B told me this I thought I could share with him that our manager had told me B was kind dumb towards some stuff. B went off. Obviously he can dish a lot of crap but can't take it. B said he was going to the manager with what was said. I said, "I told you that in confidence could you not tell him that? He will know it was me who told you. Why can't you just get over it, you talk about him all the time?" But he wouldn't let it go. I said "whatever" and was essentially done with our friendship at that point. I thought we were able to talk differently with each other than the other 2 employees but I was apparently wrong. B began telling me he will do this and that to ensure the manager gets fired. I was like ?! I like the man and didn't want him fired. He accused me of liking him because I get the best schedule, just nasty comments that showed who he truly is. This whole time I thought he was such a super nice guy, like those guys who almost make you sick with how happy and nice they are. Anyhow I told the manager what was up and to watch his back around B because he isn't trustworthy and is trying to get you out of here. Maybe that was wrong to do? But I really didn't think it was right what B was doing. One comment you don't like and you try to ruin a man's job? He didn't speak to the manager like a man, he started sending off a bunch of complaining emails to the higher ups. For a short time everything was stressed and weird. My manager was worried and angry about what would happen, B wasn't speaking to ANYONE but customers, but still sending off emails and texts complaining about mistreatment. The manager heard about it second hand from the higher ups and was so pissed. I really thought he was insane. I've never seen such a freak out before over something that wasn't that big of a deal. And for someone to make it his "goal" to get a man fired and he said he will stay there no matter how his hours get cut, he will be taking this manager down with him. His actual words. Eventually the manager sat down with him and asked him what the problem was (the district manager forced him to as he was sick of getting complaining emails from the whining employee). B said he was called dumb and didn't like it, and that he doesn't like how I get all the best hours and don't have to work on sundays! How the hell are my hours and days of work his business? Well after the conversation everyone was fine again, the manager no longer mad at him and vice versa. But B still wouldn't and hasn't spoken to me since the end of July. I am mad as hell and just getting worse. Since he complained about me having the best hours I now have to work a couple sundays, before I hadn't worked a sunday in over 5 months. I don't work sundays because that was my requested day off over 3 years ago. So essentially he gets to go insane, write emails and threaten the manager over his job, yet everything is fine now like it didn't happen? And I am the one who is screwed over with a schedule change? Why does his comments have any affect over MY schedule? Why does my schedule even affect him at all?? And to top it off he is fine with everyone except me. So when I work with him he literally does not say a word. We both sit in silence and even if he bumps into me or has to get past me he won't say excuse me. When I come in and his shift is over he hides in the back so he doesn't have to even see me. It is so immature and infuriates me. At first I didn't care that much and ignored him right back but it is starting to get stressful on me and I can't take the hostility and awkwardness in the workplace.I am at the point that I am going to speak to my manager tomorrow and complain about it. I don't know what to expect though as he will just say he can't force this coworker to speak to me. And if I bring up having to work on a sunday my manager gets annoyed and says he needs the coverage... I haven't outright accused him of doing what B said. I don't want to be friends with the guy as I pretty much hate him right now, but I have the maturity to still be able to speak about work related problems. He still won't even do that! Today when I came in the computer was completely down. He was hiding in the back as usual and left through the back without a word. I had to call the manager to ask what was up with the system being down as B won't even speak to me to let me know. I'm at the end of my rope. I don't even want to work there anymore and get very stressed when I see I have to work all day with him, like next monday. Do I try to find a new job? Do I threaten to leave if I have to work with him again? I can't really expect to never work with him again. I don't want to sit B down and talk because I did nothing wrong and he is insane, as well as I said before I hate him and do not wish to be the one to try and fix whatever is wrong with him. But working with him and seeing that fake nice bullshit when he talks to customers and other people makes me want to smack him in the face. I would love to know what anyone thinks of the situation and ideas on how to handle and what to do. Thanks again for reading.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2012): I suggest you speak to your manager about the whole situation, as there is no reason for you to feel uncomfortable at work.
'B' doesn't sound like a desirable employee, and you've been there for 3+ years so if push came to shove, I'm sure your boss would favour you over him.
Good luck!
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