A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ive been with a girl for a month or so (known her for alot longer) but recently ive had my suspicions that she might be cheating on me. Things like saying she was at a friends because she wasnt feeling well and needed to stay with her(i heard guys voice in background), another time she said she was at a friends and then the next day let slip she hadnt seen that particular friend for a while, rings someone when i go out of the room claiming its her brother (why the need to hang up quickly when i come back in?) and finally constant SMS to someone. My friend suggested i look who she calls/SMS's so i read an SMS which seemed clear that she had spent the night at another guys place and the sms's had a lot of flirting in.Ive been told to ditch her because of this but she has had a hard time recently losing job, falling out with mom etc and so she already is in tears due to that i and says she is terrified of losing me next as well. Im often far too nice and forgiving so i simply cannot mention it. I want to kiss and cuddle her but i find it so hard knowing anotehr guy has done the same recently. I really have no clue what to do i love her so much.
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female
reader, bethcharles  +, writes (29 April 2009):
well shes shown signs of cheating?
and shes not being honest?
what more excuses would you want to get rid her?
no person on earth deserves to be cheated on, or lied to!
she may be going through little situations of her own but she cant use them as excuses, and neither can you!
its time to rethink over what she done and confront her about it all!
and if you really are head strong then get yourself out of this mess and away from her!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2009): I disagree with the statement about not reading the phone.
YOu are suspiscious, you read her phone and your suspicions are right. Get rid of her. Confront her first, and if she confirms shes been around, there are lots of girls out there, and no girl should fuck a guy around like that!!
Reading her sms is NOTHING compared to sleeping around
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2009): Confront her about all the things except the text message you read. If she is cheating then you would be better to leave her now than later, when you would be more involved or have developed low self esteem, which could spoil your future with someone else, or chances of getting someone else.
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A
female
reader, claire and dan +, writes (29 April 2009):
hi well if im honest this is greed on her behalf she has been unfaithfull and if she was so scared of losein you then why is she messin around with other men??
you say she has had a hard time hun we all have them but if we truely care about soemone thenthese hard times should not effect a relationship..
personally i would not have checked her phone and dont make her aware you have as it will be turnt on you as a trust issue.. unless that is what you have??
you have not been together long so the early into a realationship for cheating is no good sign..
i'd be honest with her tell her you care and you feel she is beeing dishonest about things and tell her why the secrets be calm .. if she flys off the handle and gets all defencive then you no she is hidding things just be carefull but honest be nice you have nothin to hide or done anything wrong but you stayin with her knowin what she is doing is going to make you very insecure and paranoid towards other women..
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