A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 37 weeks pregnant and been with my boyfriend almost 2 years. And my question really is when someone is so selfish how do you make them realise how they should be because I really don't understand and really can't think what I have done to be treated and made to feel like I'm not cared about so this probably is going to be long. I'm 20 and no matter what boys I've seen they always turns out the same selfish people and I feel so bad that I'm going to bring my baby into this when his dad obviously couldn't give a crap about us. He says he's excited and can't wait but yet he hasn't bought anything but some nappies? I've not spent loads but I have bought quite a bit of his stuff and my parents have gotten the rest and we've moved into my parents house because we stopped renting a house because he passed his drivng test and wanted a car on finance and blows off when I mention us saving etc. And when the baby is about 5 weeks old is going on a 2 day binge abroad with his work for their works do. It wouldn't bother me but he's said he doesn't want me to go away for 2 days with my friends and that I'm not allowed, not that i'd want to leave the baby but it's the 'i can do it but you can't. He doesn't seem bothered that for the past few months I've given up doing anything that could harm the baby because a healthy baby is the most important thing and I'd hate something to be wrong with him because I couldn't go a few months without drinking or sunbeds (I barely went on them anyway). I seem to get upset most days from feeling bad about how I look and feeling ugly and then feel bad as I heard the baby feels it too but I'm not sure if it's true. I wouldnt mind how I looked if my boyfriend didn't poke fun at what I'm paranoid about like getting fat and my face has gone fatter these last few weeks because we are close to the end. I haven't put on loads of weight and don't have a huge bump, people are suprised when we say how long I have left and he'll say 'you can barely tell can you' but then at home he'll call me fat? And say I look much better browner, and I should get a tan again. I don't know what to do because I he's so selfish I don't think he'll ever put me and the baby first.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2010): Hiya Sweets,
Okay firstly Congratulations on the preganancy and Secondly, He is a guy, As much as they try to understand pregnancy they never will truly appreciate all the hard work that goes into those 9 months let alone the arrival of the baby itself.
It is sad that he pokes fun at your insecuraties, it seems to me (along with the fact that he wont let you go away with your mates) that he is trying to repress you somehow. Is he a jelous partner?
More than likley you are looking fabulous, with that amazing pregnant glow, and if people are telling you that you havnt put much weight on, thats great! And so what if you have put on a couple of pounds- It's baby weight! You have a a beautiful baby inside of you!!!! Any baby weight drops within a year, and Aerobics is your best bet to shed loads of baby weight. But seriously, i bet you look fab and he is trying to make you feel insecure. Dont let him get to you!
You are very lucky in the fact that you have supportive parents, and you seem like a lady with her head screwed on properly, so i suggest you pluck up the courage and talk to him about your concerns. Do not let it turn into an argument as this will stress you out and make the situation worse, so if he does not listen then take a breather and try again when the situation has calmed down.
When the baby is born, and if he is there, let him hod the baby, Usually this one significant moment can change a man, it makes them realise the responsability they have for the next 18+ years!!!! You could try speaking to him then.
If all fails, then i suggest you drop him, and be the best mother a child can have. It will be very hard, but if you remain strong from within then i believe that you and your baby hold a strong future with or without the father.
You sound like a very caring mum to be, and it is very hard when you have to focus on another life and give up all the meterialistic things that you are use to, but thats life, and you can do it girl!!!!! Believe in yourself!!!
Love and God Bless...
Friend x x x
A
female
reader, loraemoon +, writes (30 July 2010):
 no he wont put you and the baby first hes obviously making this clear already all hes thinking about is himself, why is it ok for him to go do things but your not? thats not fair at all on you, hes being really selfish n he needs to pull himself together n quick hes going to have a lil baby to also care for soon, whats he going to do leave you sitting indoors to do everything whilst hes out galavanting with friends ect. he obviously doesent think of your financial situation either does he realise things are going to be tighter when the lil one comes along, you really need to sit down n talk to him and make him realise that you need to feel loved and important and you need more surport from him, and when the baby comes if hes still the same you know things will never change, i hope it works out but either way good luck
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