A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid,I still find myself still crushing over a guy I met years ago.We talk on and off from time to time.I still keep in contact with his family even though we aren't together.This man keeps sending me on a emotional ride and I really don't know how to get off this ride I'm getting sick but I can't let go.I love him so much.Help??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2014): Thanks everyone :)
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 October 2014):
 If this guy is married - wish him well and CUT the contact. He ISN'T the one sending you on the roller coaster ride, YOU stepped into the cart yourself, and by "playing" along (that means keeping communications between you open) you are just as guilty of this insanity.
If he is NOT married, what keeps you from telling him how you feel? Fear of rejection? Distance? What?
If you FEEL like he is just toying with you and your emotions, then again, wish him well & CUT the contact.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2014): Stop contacting the family, and find some creative distractions to keep your mind occupied with other thoughts.
Infatuations that lead to obsession may require some professional therapy, just to make sure there is no underlying mental disorder. Especially if you're getting sick.
As long as you're not stalking the guy, your crush is just your harmless little secret. I'm not going to suggest approaching him when you are experiencing such an unhealthy reaction about him. Keep your distance. Being around him is obviously a trigger.
If we don't have a job, hobbies, and other intellectual outlets; the idle-mind finds ways to stay busy. Sounds like you've had a long-time fixation on this guy. You don't make any sense saying he is sending you on an emotional ride. What's he doing, just existing? If you can't disconnect those thoughts; then see a mental-healthcare specialist.
The sooner the better.
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (7 October 2014):
 The best way to stop this ride is to declare your love for him and see how he reacts. If he does not return the feelings, then that would be a clear message to you that a relationship will never happen. If he returns your love then by all means enjoy the ride:)
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (7 October 2014):
 Nt too hard to do, just divert your attention to other things likelearning to play a musical instrument or painting or something than devotes a lot of attention to things other than boys.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2014): Hey. I know exactly how you feel.. and its OK. As you've mentioned you stated that this guy is your crush... and most times...crushes are just a passing emotional waves...you'll get over them quite quickly and before you've realised another one had replaced it. But when its love..its totally different...it definitely should be mutual! So why dont you get to know this guy better and try finding out what his feelings are for you. If its positive, Congrats my friend! But if its not...don't you worry...he must have been just a taste test to what love actually is..and its definitely going to lead you on your way to your true love..all the best! :)
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