A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I have a very common but big problem. What I wonder is How do I get a girlfriend? I know it's a bit hard to answer but here's the thing; around girls I like I get nervous. So nervous I can barely talk. I get very annoying and silly which then makes me even more nervous. It should be mentioned that I have social phobia and all people encounters makes me nervous, but it's when there is girls I like in the room when I create a whole new personality. I have very low self esteem and things like getting glasses or trying on clothes in stores are impossible. Even though my vision is terrible and I always end up with too baggy jeans. Please help before I scare another one away. This social phobia thing is really destroying everything that's good in life.
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get a girlfriend, self esteem, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2011): Hi, I'm the one who wrote the question. Thank you so much for all the advice, but I do feel like I should clarify some things. First of shyness is not the same thing as social phobia. Social phobia makes people hide away from people permanently and live by themselves for the rest of their lives. I've tried to kill myself a couple of times. I don't do that anymore though. I'm not depressed or boring at all anymore. I'm a good person if you get to know me, but when I try to talk to a girl I'm in to things just get weird and awkward. I simply can't speak. v
A
female
reader, TwilightFan19 +, writes (28 March 2011):
Hi I'm a girl no I'm not a lesbian cause I'm answering this, what u gotta do is just try to act cool if she says hi then say hi and smile, u don't have to go like hey baby what's up cause really some girls may like it but I no I don't just whenever u see her in the hallway Just slowly say hi and u will get comfterbal doing it, if u sit bye her in class then just try to start a convo if she's having girl drama try to talk about that and let her just get out her anger and say," oh your way better then those girls," stick up for her I love it when a boy does that to me but anyway I hope this helped and go get that girl lol (:
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (28 March 2011):
 I think what you should do is maybe talk to a therapist or councellor about your problems. They may be able to help you out.Building confidence is never an easy thing to do. But its where you have to start of. Join groups or sign up to classes that do things that you may enjoy. What are your hobbies and interests? Whatever they are start doing them and when you find something that you are good at its an instant confidence booster. As for talking to girls. Yes this can be a hard task. But the only thing that you can do is be yourself and get to know them just like you would with a guy. The more you get to know someone the more easier it will be to talk to them and be able to relax around them. This may sound a bit silly but why not practice talking to girls in front of a mirror by yourself. It will give you more confidence and prepare yourself for talking to people. Goodluck and all the best.
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