A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This question is for anyone who has struggled with infertility. How was your relationship (marriage or otherwise) affected by it? Did you undergo fertility treatments (successful or otherwise), adopt, or just choose to remain child-free? Also, for those of you who are comfortable with sharing, what was the cause of your infertility, and if you did eventually have a baby, how did it happen, and how long did it take? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2018): I think adoption is an incredible option, and I am looking into it now (although I don't think I'm infertile). Adoption runs in my family is all I will say, so I have seen its successes first hand. Once you take a look at one of the booklets or photolistings of waiting children I think your heart will just open to ALL the amazing children who have NO homes or parents. I advise going with a slightly older child to improve waiting times (and it is good because the social worker can give you a good idea of their personality if they are slightly older too, so you can know if it is a fit). I would suggest adoption between the ages of 3-6 for the first child. You will still have a huge influence on personality, but you are taking a "hard to place' child out of the system who wouldn't have a home otherwise.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 July 2018):
 I think your "best bet" for getting the information you are seeking, to find a infertility forum/board. You will get a MUCH larger group of people who have gone through and going through this, than you will here on DC.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 July 2018):
 Hi OP, I have not started trying for a family yet so I have no issues that I know off so can't offer much in the way of help. However for what it is worth I wish you well in the future. When it comes to infertility issues I have saw first hand how damaging it can be to a relationship. It is tough on both parties and the best way to make sure use both get through it is to be open and honest with each other, and try to understand the other person. Remember that you both love each other and even though times are tough use will be stronger on the other side. I know a married couple who cannot have children as the man had prostate cancer when he was just a teenager. From talking to them my understanding is that she wants a child of her own, I guess she wants the experience of carrying a child and being a mother, he wants different, he wants them to adopt a child because it is close to his heart as he was adopted as a baby and wants to give another child a good start in life. I can see both sides of the equation and understand how both of them feel, it is never an easy decision. Remaining child free is a huge decision to make and it is one that I wouldn't recommend unless you really are 100% sure. If it is not possible to have children off your own then adoption could be an option here for you if both you and your partner agree on it. Giving a child a good start in life is a selfless act and I am sure you both would have enough love to love them as your own, off course only the both of you can answer that. Have you been to a clinic and have the told you your future options? Maybe try and get a second opinion. Is IVF an option for you?
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