A
male
age
30-35,
*@ni3l187
writes:Hi guys,About 4-5 weeks ago me and my girlfriend of 2 years agreed to go on a 2 week break. At the time I was glad because I felt like I didn't want a girlfriend anymore. I didn't realize however that I had been goin through a stage of depression thus taking everything out on her.I ignored her calls and texts for about 10 days when I got a phone call late on a Friday night. It was her. She was crying, saying how much she missed me and that she wanted to come and see me. She wanted me back. I turned her away and basically said I don't want her anymore.A week later, I had been able to think about things and realized that I had gone through a stage where I wanted to be single and that I was over it. I managed to realize what a horrible person I had been to her for the past 6 months and that I wanted her back.I began texting her and realized that she had changed. She now wanted to be single! She started going out regularly with friends etc. I told her that I realized I made a massive mistake and that I have changed the way I am and want to try and work things out.We slept together for the weekend but she didn't want a relationship with me. She told me I was too late!I was heartbroken. I broke down to her telling her how sorry I was and I wanted to make it up to her but she was having none of it. She said she didn't feel the same anymore.We agreed not to talk to each other for a month.It didn't last. 2 days later she text me late at night asking me to meet her outside my house. She wanted to sleep. I agreed, we went to hers and picked up her things and then went back to mine. She broke down in my arms saynig she missed me and wanted to try and work things out. I was over the moon. We saw each other regularly for the next 5 days and everything was great. On the fifth day, she came over and said she was going out tonight with her friends, I was fine with this. She stayed for an hour or so at mine and before she went I told her I loved her and she told me she loved me. I asked her if she was happy and she smiled greatly and said yes. The next morning I got a text saying she doesn't think it's going to work. She said she's changed and she doesn't want a relationship. She wants to remain single for at least 5 weeks. She kept telling me to move on. Once again I was heartbroken. She then told me she slept with three people while we was on a break and this hurt me.I called her a nasty name over a text. I then found out that she was lying, she just said it so that I would hate her and move on. I didn't talk to her for two days and I sent flowers and chocolates to her house with a note saying I love her and miss her. She phoned saying I shouldn't have and that she still feels the same but wants to go out for a drink soon.I told her that I love her with all my heart and hope we can get back together. She said she hopes I meet someone nice. I'm heartbroken. I don't know what to do, all i know is that I want her back, I don't find any other girl attractive in the slightest. She wants me to text her when I want to go for a drink. I've changed my image slightly, brought some new clothes, got a new job and I'm getting a new car. I think she is going through a stage similiar to me where I wanted to be single. Is it that I have to give her time to realize that maybe she wants me back? I can't give up on her so please somebody, what should I do, I love her with all my heart.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2009): Wow...you sound exactly like my ex. And I`m the girl. I am wanting to remain single and have done for the past month. I am however thinking about getting back with him but I do want to be single for a while longer as I dont feel ready to be in a relationship again. Give her space she needs it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2009): It's really a tough one... In my opinion i don't think there is MUCH hope (not that there isn't, but the solution is very very very very far off if there is one). I THINK maybe when you broke up with her etc that she was oviously heartbroken. She needed to go through a stage of repair and this sort of thing.. you know yourself, you dont want to hang around there and you told her that you didnt want her back. So all she could do was move on. Once your by that stage you have to rid yourself of everytihng to do with the person any feelings and all sorts. I think she completely wiped the slate clean and going out with friends helped her emotionally. She probably went back with you because she felt guilty and regretful and afraid that she had thrown something away and needed that extra chance to make sure that everything WAS gone, that she couldn't go back to you if she tried. It's the last bit of closure she needed really. She lied to you to protect you but relised she can't keep up the idea for a long time and felt it wouldve been better to end it now than later. I think now that it is confirmed that she can't be with you i don't think there will be much chance of her getting back with you. I think anything that happens now might be down to feeling guilty or pittying you. If anyone else can give a POSITIVE insight to this PLEASE leave comment. I would love to give a positive to this situation, but unfortunatly i have been on her side before and can relate to that. You might be able to make something of it but im not sure if you should leave it for a while or continue to pursue her at the moment.I'm really sorry i can't be of much help, i'm just trying to give you the POSSIBLE girls side of the story.Oviously all of this is just my opinion so don't be too annoyed or upset or anything over these comments, because it is quite possible she is at some other stage.Please come back and let us know whats going on.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2009): The reality is that you can't force her back into the relationship. She might come back to you. She might not. I can no more answer that question than you can. If you wait to stick around, give her space, hoping that she'll change her mind eventually, then that's your choice. And it could work out for you in the long-run.You're quite young and have just had a 2 year long relationship. Maybe she really does need some time to be single for a while. She may one day return to you. That said, there is a very strong possibility indeed that she will not and that you will have to move on. Your pain will heal with time and when you meet someone new. I've goen through this sort of despair. I do understand. You can't imagine ever loving anyone else. But you will. She will always be special to you regardless of the outcome, but she is not the only girl out there for you - even if that is not something you can comprehend at the moment.
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